I was curious how I’d feel during the first week after my firstborn’s wedding, and the honest answer is: elated, overwhelmed, and very, very tired. I had no idea how tired I’d been, and by 2:00 pm most days I crawled into bed for a mandatory afternoon nap. Who am I? I almost never take naps. It was like my body had been holding on to so much emotion, administrative mental load, and spiritual recognition that what our family was embarking this spring was a Very Very Big Deal, that once the big event finally happened, my body responded by needing to charge like a device on one percent in need of an outlet.

That week’s exhaustion hit me how much I’d actually been holding on to for the past eighteen months: my daughter’s studying abroad and meeting of her guy, getting engaged, finishing her time in college, and hosting her wedding; writing my most important (to me) book to date (and then edits so big I basically rewrote the whole thing a second time); finishing my final year of homeschooling for my second-born, helping him navigate the college admissions process, keeping him on task with scholarship applications in order to afford his first-choice university, helping him finally get his driver’s license and first job (these things take a bit longer for him with his autistic challenges); plus still running our local co-op and teaching my class (focusing on a historic era I don’t teach often, so I had to create a lot of new lesson plans for books that needed dusting off). Plus carrying the weight of aging parents and their health issues, continuing on with our forever home renovation and managing the funds for said projects. Oh, and plus planning for and promoting this summer’s pilgrimage, spinning my many volunteering plates at our local parish, and all this along with the usual rigamarole of keeping our bills paid each month and dinner on the table night after night.

When I’m tempted to wonder why I’ve been so much quieter in my newsletter here this past year (which is not my preference), I simply need to step back and recognize all that God has asked me to carry the past year and a half—and then I’m not surprised in the least. Yes, writing is part of my job, and that includes this newsletter. But when real life beckons, hitting publish on words takes a backseat, even when they’re simmering to a near-boil on the back burner.

The honest truth is that most of the reason I haven’t been as prolific on here as I’ve been in the past is because my real, offline life is much sweeter, richer, and more fulfilling than any semblance of life online. I check Substack, and it doesn’t take me long to want to close out the app—it’s so painfully obvious how much ‘grasping’ is going on; people begging for relevance and reposts, staking their identity on being mentioned by others so they can justify all their time and brainspace spent on the platform. There are exceptions, of course; I want to write poetry all day, and I’m so buoyed by ’s recent expose into her heart and writing situation, as heartbreaking as it is. I want to muse on digital paper what it’s like to live in the Yorkshire Dales as much as he’s willing to give us, and I will stop whatever I’m doing whenever hits publish, as rare as that occasion is (a practice of hers, intentional or not, for which I applaud).

The best writers are the ones who do other things besides write. At minimum, this is because they have something to say. I remember back in 2018, when I was first asked to teach at my kids’ school, that my first concern was a wipeout of my time and focus on writing. Turns out dedicating part of my waking hours to class prep, teaching, and grading did nothing but make my writing sharper and my time-management more effective; this is because we need to be people with multi-dimensional, flesh-and-bone, dirt under the fingernail lives in order to be worth any pixels we publish. I don’t mind people earning a living off their writing; I do, too. But if they want to earn my hard-earned attention, they need to do more with their lives than think of their next essay topic and scroll feeds in order to know what to say next to please the algorithmic gods.

I have nothing to say about AI that hasn’t been said ad nauseam in every. single. essay I’ve been shown the past few weeks. I’d rather tell you about the sparrow that just landed on my table here next to my mint cold brew in a mason jar, its beak full of microscopic twigs, which I imagine it will bring to its nest-in-the-making in the tree behind me. I’d rather wonder why the morning light hits different this time of year, and I don’t mean ‘hits different’ in a soul way, I mean literally hits differently on the walls of my living room as the sun peeks its way into the neighborhood, orange and waking up the people who live within my four walls and tells our new rooster, who was not that long ago a pullet on its way to life as an egg-laying hen with the rest of his flock, to clear his throat and begin his pubescent crow. (Related: anybody need a rooster?)

I want to tell you about how one of my favorite baristas is due with her first baby in mid-September, which makes me wonder whether she’ll return to the coffee shop afterwards or if her days here are numbered (good for her, sad for me). I prefer to tell you about the delightful encounter Kyle and I just had a few hours ago, wherein we met a reader of mine who’s in town with her husband and who came to this coffee shop because she read me waxing poetic about it (I promise I do other things besides come to this coffee shop... but I do come here an awful lot). We parted ways and Kyle asked me to find out where she got her husband the t-shirt he was wearing, because it’s a little nod to Pearl Jam and we are part of that Oregon Trail, Star Wars, in-between Gen-X and Milennial generation that prides itself on generational homelessness. I also want to tell you how dadgum friendly our neighborhood is, and how half the time when I’m at this coffee shop I overhear conversations between fellow patrons either catching up like long-lost war buddies or meeting each other for the first time, sharing likeminded perspectives of their canine companions and concert tees and becoming fast friends.

And mostly right now, because it’s really all I’ve been thinking about the past two weeks, I want to tell you about what it’s like to now have a married daughter, and how strange it is to now be suddenly thrust into this stage of life. The two of us are as close as its possible to be in a healthy adult child-parent relationship (at least, I hope so, and is my now longstanding fervent hope and prayer), which means our closeness now looks different. She was already on her own in many ways, having gone to college a thousand miles away, studied abroad, and generally came equipped with an independent, can-do spirit that’s often the case for firstborn daughters (especially those who spent their earliest years as a third-culture kid). But I’ve still been her go-to person for her thoughts and reflections on life, and that person now needs to be her husband. This is good, and how it should be, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy and it doesn’t mean it’s a seamless transition. It’s an inner journey that, two years ago, I didn’t know I’d be taking right now, that’s for sure. It involves so much prayer that my knees are battle-bruised and I’m forced to bring to Jesus all my needs to remember whose I am and what’s my purpose in life, first and foremost.

As for the wedding itself—I never knew I could feel in my bones such unadulterated joy. Hokey and clichéd, I know, but it’s true. For days afterward I rode the ripples of joy from the all-too-quick plunk in the water of the Saturday afternoon wedding we’d been planning for months. The whole week after, my eyes would water without my permission at the remembrance of the tiniest moment from that day: getting to drive to the church, just my daughter, her dad, and me, as we were given the unexpected gift of relishing together in her last twenty minutes as a single woman. How she and I were whisked off to the quiet room off to the side of the narthex so her groom couldn’t see her, which meant two sweet minutes of just the two of us to quickly pray and then spy on who all was there in attendance.

The whole week after, I’d play my playlist that echoes a mix CD a friend of ours made us as a gift for our honeymoon, and a song would conjure up a memory from our own week post-wedding, smacking me in the face how quickly time really does fly.

One minute, and I’m begging my two-year-old, for the love of all that’s holy, to stop drawing on the walls of our Turkish apartment, and the next minute, I’m watching her walk down the aisle with her dad at her arm. I know all the pintucked alterations done on the dress she’s wearing, lovingly sewn by my mother, and I wonder if the shoes she’s wearing are pinching her toes. She’s holding the bouquet she made two days ago in our living room with her bridesmaids, who’ve all come from out of town to stand with her, and she’s wearing my own veil that she tweaked a month ago with a needle and thread while she sat on our couch and watched a movie. She and I traded necklace chains so hers could sit at a better spot on her décolletage, and it does indeed make her dress’ neckline pop, just like she hypothesized.

Behind me right now at the coffee shop as I write, a gaggle of little kids are collecting snails and making Very Serious Plans to build their snail village—it was two weeks ago when my own daughter, too, built Terabithias and Roxaboxens and critter compounds and stick forts with her siblings and new best friends from the playground. …But that can’t be, because actually two weeks ago, I watched her bond with girlfriends who span all different stages of her life, dance to Tom Petty with her dad, and I threw potpourri in her face as she ran off, smile plastered on her face while I wondered how very tired she must also be feeling since I was there with her all week, holding the hand of her new husband who then whisks her off in his four-door sedan painted with ‘Just Married’ on the back windshield. They drive off and I wave goodbye.

And then, Kyle and I rolled up our sleeves and cleaned up alongside all the friends and family who graciously stayed to help. I changed out of my handmade dress and back into shorts and t-shirt, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and gathered flowers, charcuterie trays from the bridal suite and groomsmen changing rooms, leftover curling irons and oxford button-downs, and the black-and-white framed photos on display for the ‘Love Stories Before Ours’ family wedding gallery. I pause again to look at my own, the one of my husband and me hugging in our white dress and tuxedo, very aware on this side of things of how in love we were and how, by all accounts, how very little we really did know each other. Isn’t that just the way? We stand before God and community to promise each other our fealty until death do us part, and what a step of faith that is. We have no idea what’s coming, all the stretch marks and bills and budget-friendly date nights in the living room after the kids are asleep and late-night bedroom chats about how the teens are doing, and how not knowing what’s all in store is probably for the best.

After we throw away what needs tossing and pack up what needs taking, the caravan of vehicles leave for where they need to go. Kyle and I leave last, and the required security officer and venue representative can finally leave. But Kyle pauses, makes a little turn, and heads back to the venue once the coast is clear. He parks, the two of us get out, and we head back to the meadow behind the old Tuscan house we just rented for its required twelve hours, now empty, and for which we still have twenty minutes left. He laces his fingers in mine, and we sit on a back limestone stoop, where minutes ago we watched our daughter and her husband have their first dance, and now we watch the orange sun paint the sky purple.

“We did it,” he says. I lean my head on his shoulder.

We sit in silence, playing back the joy of the day, of all the toasts and cheers and congratulations from friends. And I play back all the diaper changes, three a.m. nursing sessions, stroller walks, lunches made, middle school friend drama-fueled hugs, inconveniently-timed conversations about whether God really is good, and late-night waits in bed to hear the front door open as she comes home from a high school date.

“Yeah,” I reply, “...We did it.”

The two of us stand up, briefly twirl like we’re still dancing, kiss, and walk back to the car. Our twelve hours are now up. So are our two-plus decades. We are asked to move on, and so we do.

We drive home. The next morning, I make bacon and eggs for my daughter’s brothers, both still at home for at least a few more months.

The days are long but the years are short.

I’m so grateful it’s the first day of June, because 1. It means Maycember is officially over, and 2. It means the wonderful season of summer reading has officially begun! ⛱️

I’m still leaning into cozy murder mysteries, but I’m looking forward to more overall reading JUST for fun this month, which …

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Greetings from my first normal week in …three months? Six months? A year? I don’t know anymore. What’s normal? At minimum, greetings from my week in which I do not have a Huge Major Family Milestone Moment on the calendar. —I hardly know what to do with myself.

Our oldest is officially married, our second is officially graduated, and our youngest officially turns sixteen (and hopefully gets his driver’s license soon after🤞) in about two weeks. How am I at this stage of life? Among the many other wild things I’ve had to process lately, this is a big one Kyle and I keep repeating to ourselves like a couple set out to pasture at a retirement home: time sure flies, doesn’t it? Weren’t we just married? Wasn’t this scholarship-amassing new college student of ours just worrying us with his lack of speaking? Weren’t we just dealing with our youngest as a three-year-old constantly getting in to everything, climbing out-of-reach shelves to reach Halloween candy and super glue? Alas, all the clichés about time, etc., have been loudly ringing true these days. I’ve got an essay in the works reflecting on some of these thoughts, and I hope to hit publish on it soon.

In the meantime: the summer season is here! 👏 Even if these months don’t reflect my favorite temp on the thermometer, summer is my favorite season because of its pace of life. Perhaps it’s the homeschool mom in me, perhaps it’s the teacher in me, perhaps it’s simply the Texan in me who prefers cut-offs and bare feet, but summer mode is the Best Mode. Bring on the easier books, cold drinks, and porch swings. I am so very ready.

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. Earlier this week I asked Commonplace subscribers to share their monthly gratitude lists, so if you’re a sub, don’t forget to add yours! (it was on Memorial Day, so you may have been wisely offline and thus missed it). Some favorites I’m seeing so far: ‘The beauty of a thunderstorm and the rainbow that followed,’ ‘an ancient light pink patchwork quilt on our bed,’ ‘the camaraderie around the Route 66 celebrations going on during the 100th anniversary of the Mother Road—it’s been fun meeting people from all across the nation who are traveling through,’ and ‘having a few friends that I keep in touch with via hand-written letters.’

2. A new papal encyclical dropped this week! 🙌 For those unaware (because I didn’t know until I swam the Tiber), popes often write documents that serve as letters to a global audience, often about social or theological issues. Here it is directly from the Vatican, and so far this is my favorite commentary slash explainer (though I look forward to eventually watching this discussion when it’s available to the public). …Lots to unpack in this document.

3. Speaking of the spirit of being full persons in the age of technology, I appreciated these words and photos of Carmelite monks in Wyoming building a Gothic cathedral by hand, while also using technology and modern tools, like robots: “…Everything from Champagne to lowercase letters to water-powered forges have been invented by enterprising monks. It is this tradition of innovation that the Wyoming Carmelites are leaning into to answer their prayers for a mountain monastery.”

4. hits it out of the park with his recent reflections on having kids when there’s never a good time to have kids. As I told him—there is, indeed, never a good time to have kids, which is why it’s always a good time to have kids. His words beautifully capture the essence of parenting: “Sometimes, I’m even thankful that the world she’s coming into isn’t perfect. Neither of us ascribe to the belief that a life without resistance, hardship, let down is what makes for a flourishing life. We need every note on the scale of human emotion in order to stumble into a textured, beautiful life.”

5. And finally, from the archives… A few years ago one of my students requested a summer reading list from me for her transitory months between her junior and senior years. Here’s what I came up with—I’d love to have written another one for this year, but I just haven’t had time. Nonetheless, I think this list is still a strong one! (I’ll share my own summer reading plans for this year in our monthly subscriber book chat soon).

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📻

My Summer playlist from last year (until I have time to make this year’s)

Quotable 💬

“Someday, you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”

-C.S. Lewis

What’s better in the shower? 🧼

A completely random question, I know, and I bet you can guess where I was when it came to me… I used to be a ride-or-die liquid soap gal, but for about a decade I’ve used good, minimal-ingredient bar soap inside a bag sorta like this, and it’s a game-changer. Not only does it last longer than liquid soap (and therefore cheaper), but the scratchiness on the skin is weirdly therapeutic. 10/10, would recommend.

• Bar soap: 52.6%

• Liquid soap: 47.4%

Find the next poll here.

Scotland: Join Us This Summer! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I can’t emphasize enough how formative a pilgrimage like this is in your life…. If you’re on the fence, take these words as a sign from the Lord and SIGN UP. You won’t regret it.

(Psst… Those of you already going: check your inboxes—I wrote you this week!)

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What’s one of your favorite ordinary summer memories from your childhood?

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - Window pane glue! …I have so many questions, but especially for Norway, Lithuania, and Germany.

Seems fitting to do our monthly gratitude chat on Memorial Day, and after this absolutely craziest month on record for our clan, I personally have so much to be grateful for. Let’s all remember the good things, big and little, that make our lives what they are.

As a reminder, here’s what w…

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One cannot possibly describe in only one paragraph how it feels when your oldest and only daughter gets married, surrounded by family and friends on a perfect breezy spring day—so I’m not even going to try. I’ve got an essay in the works that’ll better unpack all that I experienced last week, how God gave me grace upon grace to partake of this thin-veiled moment, and what unadulterated joy her father and I both felt during the day of and in the days afterwards… We’re still floating on cloud nine! They’ll come back from their honeymoon tomorrow and I’ll ask her permission to share a few photos here soon, but truly, there’s really only one word to summarize everything about the whole experience: JOY. It’s clichéd, but it’s true. Pure JOY! Such an answer to a decades-long prayer.

…And now tomorrow we graduate our second-born from high school. He’s the kid cut from a slightly different bolt of fabric from his siblings, but is also, quite frankly, the best of all of us: he’s got a heart of gold, he’s brilliant beyond my understanding, and he’s the funniest person I know. I’m so stinking proud of him, and I trust God will sustain me this weekend, once again, as I let the waterworks flow and witness another milestone in one of our kid’s life. What grace.

All this means by this fall we’ll have ONE KID left in the house, and I can hardly believe we’re here at this stage of life already. I’m grateful for the next two years of finishing up high school with him under our roof. …I want it to go by as slowly as possible.

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. Several years ago I spoke as the commencement speaker at our school’s graduation—here’s a slightly-edited transcript of what I said: “Listen to tradition. Tradition is the stuff we humans have carried with us for a long time, and while some of it we’ve needed to shed over the ages, much of it is too quickly thrown out as outdated, unnecessary, or holding us back to the past. GK Chesterton called tradition the ‘Democracy of the dead, which means giving a vote to the most obscure of all classes: our ancestors.’ It is very trendy these days to ignore anything that’s old. Don’t be trendy. Listen to good wisdom that’s been around a long time, whether that’s from Dostoevsky or from your grandpa.”

2. I needed this short-and-sweet reminder from my old friend , on how sometimes God speaks to us in our distractions, and isn’t impossibly stuck by our own human diversions: “it struck me: perhaps God is present even in the distracted, curious days like this one.”

3. How not to be an anxious parent—these are simple but true words of wisdom on what our actual roles are as parents, and what it means to love our children enough to let them live with the free will God has given them (this is a newsletter written specifically on parenting boys by , but the wisdom applies to girls, too): “You bring into parenting the same limitations and defects you had before your children arrived. Expecting to make many mistakes is not pessimism but realism; it is the only reasonable stance and, paradoxically, it is a source of peace.”

4. Very rarely do I share a piece from the same writer two weeks in a row, but knocks it out of the park again with yet another timely poem (particularly for me, since he and I are going through very similar life events and are roughly the same age): “Now, on a dark evening, I sit in the lamplight, our house quiet, and I wonder what my son, the one who just moved out, is doing in his new place, if he is reading any of those books we lugged up the steps, and if he remembered to lock the door.”

5. And finally, for some much needed levity (at least for me this week), always delivers with his insightful, timeless wisdom: “Graduates, I want you to take a moment to look at the person sitting on your right and left. In five years, one of those two people will be dead. And you will be married to the other one, so choose carefully.”

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📻

My old Shmoopy playlist, thanks to our daughter’s wedding1

Quotable 💬

“God spoke today in flowers, and I, who was waiting on words, almost missed the conversation.”

-Ingrid Goff-Maidoff2

What are your summer travel plans (so far)? 🚗

We’re doing a tiny bit of in-state travel in a few weeks (Kyle and I are going on a much-needed weekend getaway!), and then there’s a chance we may make it up to Oregon again to visit family later this summer. But our biggest family travel is to Scotland, which of course you can join us (and should!). I’m so excited—it’ll be a fantastic pilgrimage with delightful people, as always.

• Domestic travel: 46.3%

• Staycation: 24.2%

• In-state travel: 16.4%

• International travel: 13.1%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Join Us This Summer! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I can’t emphasize enough how formative a pilgrimage like this is in your life…. If you’re on the fence, take these words as a sign from the Lord and SIGN UP. You won’t regret it.

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What would your high-school self be glad to know about your current-day self?

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - Moving cars with the swipe of a hand.

It’s Wedding Week around here! As you’re reading this I’ve already written these words several days prior, and I’m happy to report that I’m feeling surprisingly calm and less busy than I’ve been in several weeks… It feels like we’re now just plugging-and-playing all the planning we’ve been doing for months, and simply letting All The Things happen, come what may.

I’m naturally channeling all my focus and emotional energy right now on, you know, my oldest and only daughter getting married 🤯, so this will be short and sweet. Onward!

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. Several years ago in celebration of our anniversary I wrote a list of nine lessons learned in marriage—though I wish I had more time to write a fresh list, I honestly wouldn’t disagree with anything I said several years ago. …So if you missed it the first time, hopefully it’s an encouragement to you, and if you read it back then, well, perhaps it’s worth a re-read: “Don’t keep account of wrongs. Notice the good things—how that one color t-shirt looks good on him, how he always drags the trash cans to the curb on Monday nights, that he’s inordinately kind on the phone to that one high-maintenance client of his—and then tell him so. Say a thousand more encouraging things than the tens of issues you may have with him.”

2. A few years ago I also had a podcast conversation with one of my favorite local friends (whom we first met on one of our pilgrimages!), and he and his wife are some of Tate’s favorite people, too. Rick Reynolds is a marriage therapist specializing in infidelity, which I know is a weird thing to bring up, but this conversation was actually super encouraging and uplifting for marriage in general. He’s got great advice.

3. wrote lovely words about why weddings are a communal celebration, not a private affair—this idea has been on my mind for months now as we’ve planned this thing that has sometimes often felt a bit… overwhelming. She hits on so many points I wish I had more time to write myself, so instead, I’ll let her say the words for me: “A wedding is a couples first ‘official’ act of hospitality. There is something wonderful about the way a wedding may display the distinctive character of each couple’s relationship, the qualities and strengths their union will bring to the world.”

4. A few years ago, Edward and Beth Sri recorded a great conversation with Fr. Mike Schmitz on marriage. It was at a college conference, but the focus is still on the nitty-gritty mess of marriage, which I really appreciated—I think it’s an encouragement for all of us. The above is part one; here’s part two.

5. And finally, what’s the most important part of the wedding ceremony? This is a solid answer.

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📺

Remarkably Bright Creatures on Netflix (as someone who loved the novel when it first came out a few years ago, I was pleasantly surprised by this adaptation!)

Quotable 💬

“In the twilight of life, we will be judged on love alone.”

-St. John of the Cross

Whatever your state in life, which quote best describes marriage to you? 🪢

I’m honestly not sure if I could pick a definitive answer here, since I like all these quotes. …So for right now, as I’m writing this, I’ll go with Schubert’s ‘true friend’ idea. Yes and amen—this has definitely been the case with Kyle and me.

• “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” -Anonymous: 38.2%

• “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery: 17.6%

• “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” -Franz Schubert: 15.2%

• “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” -Albert Ellis: 10.8%

• “Mature love has a bliss not even imagined by newlyweds.” -Boyd K. Packer: 10%

• “If I get married, I want to be very married.” -Audrey Hepburn: 5.2%

• “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.” -Peter de Vries: 2.8%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Join Our 2026 Scottish Pilgrimage! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Travel is one of the most formational activities we can do on earth; one of the few that, for the most part, is worth the money spent—that’s been the case with pilgrimages for me, and it’s one of the reasons I love leading them.

Consider joining my family and me (along with some new kindred spirits) in Scotland this summer! We’ll walk through the rugged highlands, wander through the halls of medieval castles, and more. You won’t regret it.

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What small thing are you grateful for this exact second you’re reading this? (pause right now and name it to yourself)

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - Seeing as most of Tate’s wedding attendees will be non-Catholic, here’s a friendly list of what not to do at a Catholic wedding. Our programs have a lot of written explainers so that our friends and family know that all the “things” aren’t just random (they all have a purpose!), but these are still good thoughts. …With a caveat.1

Last night we had what I hope was not our last family dinner ever (far from it, Lord willing!), but at least a focused family dinner that I insisted we intentionally put on the calendar before extended family and friends all start coming in for the wedding next week. I wanted time with just the five of us for one last time, around the table eating dinner, with a post-dinner walk and an evening of board games.

It did not disappoint. Our dinner conversation was delightfully ordinary—we simply went around and named our favorite parts of our days, as well as something we each learned (as we’ve done for years now)—then we took the dog on a walk and witnessed a beautiful pink-orange sunset. We came back, cleaned up from dinner, and then played a few rounds of Apples to Apples and a few rounds of Clue (which we have officially outgrown). That was it. But it was just what I wanted.

She’ll still come over for dinner, of course, but it’ll most likely be with her husband in tow (as it should be!). I wanted to make sure I mentally captured one final evening with just my three kids, goofing around with each other, poking and prodding at each other with their humor (when did they each get so funny?), and watching my husband slowly fall asleep in the chair next to them. It was a lovely evening.

…And now: eight days and counting until the wedding! 🤯

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. If you’re a Commonplace subscriber, head over to May’s chat for all things books: what you read last month, what you’re reading now, what’s on your TBR stack. After a long season of reading and rereading ancient works for both my class and for my book-writing research, I am SO ready for summer reading… I have so many ideas and won’t get to a fraction of them, but the anticipation is lovely.

2. Earlier this week I took a mental walk down memory lane, from my daughter’s day of birth until basically yesterday. I may write a separate essay about that experience sometime, but in the meantime, I’ll summarize by saying I’m so glad I followed the Lord’s nudge to do so, because while yes, I was a mess of hot tears doing so, it was both cathartic and encouraging to just let myself feel all the feelings about my first-born getting married. …Wasn’t she just that two-year-old toddler playing with blocks and talking my ear off incessantly? Wasn’t she just the nine-year-old we took on our round-the-world school-year trip who celebrated her tenth birthday in a hot air balloon over the Masaai Mara in Kenya? Didn’t she just start middle school and become friends with the two girls who will be her maids of honor next weekend? Didn’t she just get her driver’s license and drive to the store for me for the first time? ...Don’t blink, parents. All the clichés about time are true.

3. I quite enjoyed following along ’s experience of becoming a beekeeper (something on my own must-do-just-for-fun list). Delightful! Bees are remarkable.

4. Thanks to a reader here (make yourself known in the comments here so I can thank you personally again!) for linking to a dress pattern when I was bemoaning the lack of good mother of the bride dresses… Because I ended up using that pattern to make my own dress! It was never on my bucket list to make my own MoB dress, but I’m so glad I did. Is it perfect? …Don’t look too closely at it. But I really like it, and it’ll be fun to wear. Plus: IT HAS POCKETS.

5. And finally, if you want to nod furiously in agreement and let your eyes water inconveniently, read ’s poem about AI. Yes, AI. “And be sure to use AI when your next child gets married, so that you can write them the perfect toast or poem or speech or song because no one wants to hear your words, the actual poorly written words of a parent (you) who changed hundreds of diapers for said child…”

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📻

My daughter’s Reminds Me of Mom playlist she made me a few years ago for Mother’s Day

Quotable 💬

“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.”

-Alden Nowlan

What does the month of May mean to you? 🌸

It wasn’t until I had school-age children that I understood what was the big deal about “Maycember;” up to then it came across to me like parents putting too much on themselves and making the end of the school year busier than it needs to be. …Then I understood—even as a homeschooling parent—that there are just so. many. events. that are kid-related and put upon us in May which are simply outside our control. (Clearly my asking this question had to do with my state of mind last week.)

I’m happy to report that even with my daughter getting married next weekend and my son graduating the week after, I’m already feeling saner, now that my only day of teaching left is basically the “presentations + wrap-up game” kind of class. Put a fork in me, I am DONE. I’m ready to celebrate my children! …And then move on to a much, much chiller summertime schedule.

• It’s Maycember — tied with December as the most insane month of the year: 30.5%

• My favorite month — spring weather, delightful calm: 22.7%

• Freedom! School ends and it’s the start of summertime: 21.9%

• Meh — it’s just another month: 19.9%

• Blergh — the weather’s blah where I am (and/or allergies are insane): 5%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Join Our 2026 Scottish Pilgrimage! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Travel is one of the most formational activities we can do on earth; one of the few that, for the most part, is worth the money spent—that’s been the case with pilgrimages for me, and it’s one of the reasons I love leading them.

Consider joining my family and me (along with some new kindred spirits) in Scotland this summer! We’ll walk through the rugged highlands, wander through the halls of medieval castles, and more. You won’t regret it.

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

If you have children: what’s your earliest memory of parenting? Or, what’s your earliest memory from your own childhood? -How do these compare to yesterday?

And a happy Mother’s Day to all moms reading this! Your work is so valuable, so needed, and so often unseen… Cheers to you and your late nights, early mornings, and all the errands in-between.

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - I love watching this… (I saw it in person in Ireland, and have a feeling we’ll get to see it in person again this summer in Scotland!).

Happy Maycember!

It’s 12 days until my daugher’s wedding, 19 days until my oldest son’s graduation, and just for good mesasure I’ll go ahead and toss in 38 days until my youngest turns 16, putting me officially into a WHOLE NEW STAGE of parenting. It’s crunch time. 💪

...Which means it probably won…

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I turned in my book edits on Monday! …And then immediately took a rare, mid-afternoon hour-long nap in celebration. 🎉 Every time I hit some major milestone—turning in a book manuscript, coming home from leading a pilgrimage, graduating a kid, even simply ending a school year of teaching—my body celebrates by getting sick. Either getting sick, or just getting really, really tired. It’s like I’d been running on fumes, but by God’s sheer grace I was able to power through… I woke up from that nap with had no idea what time it was or what planet I was on.

This now means I’m only moderately busy on an insane level vs. outlandishly so. I won’t belabor the issue, since no one loves reading someone else’s laundry list of to-dos, but let’s just say after I get this email scheduled for your inbox, I’m working on finishing wedding programs and reception signage, followed by scheduling our parish’s monthly email.

But at the time you’re actually reading this, Tate and I will be on a quick, mother-daughter pre-wedding overnighter: nothing major, just a local guesthouse for some time away where we will decidedly not talk about the wedding. …Marriage, though, is definitely on the table. I’m hoping we’ll have good conversations, enjoy a massage and pedicure, get some local take-out for dinner back at the house, and maybe enjoy the backyard pool (though thunderstorms are forecasted). Oh, and maybe watch a movie or two. I’ve been looking forward to this getaway for weeks!

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. If you’re a Commonplace subscriber, head to April’s gratitude check-in from this week and add your lists! It’s always a highlight of mine to read them: some favorites include breakfast for supper, a local Italian market in a reader’s area that has the most delicious bread & food, steak from steers raised by another reader, reading Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn for the first time, the smell of freshly cut grass, and The Boxcar Children on the Libby library app for yet another reader’s 7-year-old.

2. Every morning there’s a group of neighbors, mostly older, that meet here at the local coffee shop (I’m here right now, writing this), and I love that this simple gathering has become such a mainstay in their lives. They don’t stay too long, but they do show up religiously. They welcome newcomers to their table, they squeal with delight at all the regular babies and toddlers that come through the door, and seeing as the baristas know my order by heart, I’m sure they know this group of locals’ orders, too. Seeing them here is a bright spot in my morning.

3. “Go touch grass” has nearly become a cliché these days, but I say there are worse ideas to turn into a platitude—I mean, it’s true; we do need to touch grass. I enjoyed Arthur Brooks’ recent episode of why we have to get outside more than we do in our modern world, along with practical ways to do so (hint: evening walks!).

4. In the same vein, I appreciate ’s reminder about why we need more, not less, friction in our lives: “…It is here, my friends, that we really feel the friction: what we need is not what we want; and what we want is not what we need.”

5. And finally, this week I taught on the 4th-century Council of Nicaea in my humanities class, so I revisited this excellent Catholic-Orthodox dialogue on the Creed between Bishop Robert Barron and Metropolitan Nathanael Symeonides from last year (which was the 1,700-year anniversary of the historic moment!).

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📻

The Chill Mix made for me by Spotify

Quotable 💬

“I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer.”

-Dodie Smith

Where/what was your first job? 🛒

This week’s question was my son’s suggestion (again!), and I thought it an apropos one, since he’s about to have his last day at his first job in order to embark on his first day at his second. My first “real” job (I babysat here and there, but nothing major) was at Target. Yep, retail. It actually wasn’t too bad for a big-box chain store, but I think I only worked there for about six months before I became an assistant at my church for several years, followed by waiting tables at local restaurants for years and years (that’s where the good money was).

• Babysitting: 68.8%

• Food service: 12.6%

• Retail shop: 7.1%

• Camp counselor: 3.8%

• Grocery store: 2.7%

• Newspaper delivery: 2.5%

• Lifeguard: 1.5%

• Movie theater: 1%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Join Our 2026 Scottish Pilgrimage! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Travel is one of the most formational activities we can do on earth; one of the few that, for the most part, is worth the money spent—especially when it’s invested in something that pays dividends in our souls for years afterward. That’s been the case with pilgrimages for me, and it’s one of the reasons I love, love, love leading them.

Consider joining my family and me (along with some new kindred spirits) in Scotland this summer, where we’ll walk through the rugged highlands and listen to God’s voice on the Isle of Skye, in the halls of medieval castles, walking through historic St. Andrews, and more. And if you sense through prayer that this pilgrimage is meant for you, I’ll join you in prayer that God will provide all you need to go. It’s worth it!

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

Don’t forget—it’s still Eastertide! What’s one small thing you could do this weekend to keep celebrating?

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - Comments about Catholics turned into Gregorian chant (I have my son, yet again, to thank for this one).

Hard to believe, but it’s already the end of another month! Which means it’s time for us to remember the good things, big or little, in our lives. Let’s roll up our sleeves and do this thing!

You know what to do: in the comments, share ten things you’re currently grateful for, big or smal…

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I finished my book edits this week—late yesterday afternoon, in fact—and now I’m rereading the whole thing once more to see what I missed (so that I can turn it in early next week). It’s nearly one-hundred thousand words (WHAT. HOW. 🤯) so I’ve got my work cut out for me, but I want this thing to be dang good, so it’s worth me to skim it again.

This, plus me needing to finalize the wedding programs (fun fact: Catholic wedding liturgies have quite a few moving parts, especially in the Ordinariate rite) means today I’m publishing a few reruns. Seeing as I’ve been doing 5QTs for almost eight years, I’ve got plenty in the back catalog—which exist specifically for insanely busy seasons such as these.

Enjoy! I’ll be back here soon.

5 Quick Previous Quick Things ☕️

1. #368, first published May 16, 2025: haircuts, seasonal uniforms, & marriage

2. #354, first published February 7, 2025: learning to read, live local, & tell good stories

3. #340, first published October 18, 2024: watercoloring, a house full of books, & camping hacks

4. #331, first published May 17, 2024: free-range parenting, theology of the body, & our universal ache for home

5. #322, first published March 8, 2024: good art, dumb phones, & neighborhood walks

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📚

The Marlow Murder Club, by Robert Thorogood1

Quotable 💬

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.”

-Antoine de Saint Exúpery

What’s the best bear? 🐻

You have my 18-year-old son to thank for this question… And it was quite popular, so it seems (one of the more well-answered poll questions). I’m torn between panda, grizzly, or gummi. (Look up ‘drop’ if you’re a fellow non-Aussie like me.)

• Panda: 37.8%

• Gummi: 17%

• Polar: 15%

• Black: 13.7%

• Grizzy: 6.3%

• Battlestar Galactica: 4.5%

• Brown: 4.3%

• Drop: 1.4%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Join Our 2026 Pilgrimage to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

There’s still room… We’d love to have you! These small-group pilgrimages are life-changing, and I’m so grateful for the friendships I’ve made through them.

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What’s one thing you can take off your current to-do list?

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - Words mean things.

This book edits continue, but I’ve made a lot of progress this week—thank you to those of you who’ve prayed for my work; I really appreciate it. I had a quick doctor’s check-up this week, and we could do nothing but laugh at my elevated cortisol levels. Of course they are: I’ve got major edits I’m trying to finish in two weeks, a daughter to marry off in four weeks from yesterday, and a homeschooled son to graduate from high school in five weeks. Oh, and a class to finish teaching the Tuesday before the wedding. (I’m officially in my George Banks season; I’ve sent this gif more times lately than I care to admit.)

I’m hoping a year from now I’ll look back on this season in wonder how God sustained me through it all… It’s all I can do, really! That, and fight for sleep.

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. I admittedly haven’t been reading much on the internet lately because my life is too full for such fun. I’ve read some things here and there (see below), but otherwise, unless I’m teaching or running an errand, these days it’s mostly me working on the book (often at our neighborhood coffee shop) peppered every hour or so with walking breaks. Last weekend I did, however, manage to read (via audiobook) Murder Takes a Vacation, by Laura Lippman and it was delightful. For whatever reason, cozy murder mysteries are the perfect antidote for me as I work on a theology-dense book, so unlike what I normally write. Scroll down a bit for my next mystery of choice.

2. I’m such a fan of C.S. Lewis, which means I’m such a fan of this rant from : “I actually believe it’s my calling to impress on you the depth of your error before we, as a generation of Christian culture, lose touch with this great man forever. I hope you’re ready. We’re going to do it up right, with a podcast where I yell at people while they complete remedial Lewis reading, and essays where I wax pedantic about deep lore. I’m going to dig up the oddest bits of ephemera from his deepest archives and remind us all just how blessed we were that such a man lived and loved God with all his strange, wonderful, broken heart and mind.”

3. I also absolutely love St. John Henry Newman, so this surprising essay about him and …Easter chocolate? from (actually, her husband) was a nice break to read in between book edits: “…this witness of mutual charity was one more step in the journey of the remarkable Cadbury family, whose frequent contemplation was the query, “And who is my neighbor?”

4. John is my favorite Apostle (the real guy, from the Bible, but sorta-kinda also the character in The Chosen), so this was fun. …Vegemite, however, is terrible.

5. And finally, this is a joke, but also not. It’s also actually a weirdly helpful explanation (bookmarking it for my high school personal finance class next year).

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📚

The Mudflats Murder Club, by Brian Thiem

Quotable 💬

“Not all are called to be artists in the specific sense of the term. Yet all men and women are entrusted with the task of crafting their own life: in a certain sense, they are to make of it a work of art, a masterpiece.”

-St. John Paul II

If you could suddenly, immediately acquire an expert-level skill or talent, what would you choose? 💪

I loved this reader-submitted question! And I genuinely don’t know what I’d choose because it depends on the day and in which area I’m currently feeling deficient… For right now, I’ll say my answer is a trade skill, because I’d love to help Kyle more with our forever fixer-upper renovation. But I do also wish I were a better singer.

• The arts (singing or playing an instrument, painting, writing, etc): 60.2%

• A trade skill (carpentry, electric work, plumbing): 20.2%

• A people skill (conflict resolution, meeting new people, leading a team): 13.2%

• Athletic prowess in your favorite sport: 6.4%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Join Our 2026 Pilgrimage to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What are three very small things you’re grateful for?

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - Sea urchins with miniature hats.

Happy Eastertide! As we continue to celebrate the longest feast season in the Church calendar (remember, Easter lasts fifty full days, all the way to Pentecost), may we keep a lively spirit in the midst of all our to-do lists and plate-spinning. I often find it ironic that this long feast sits smack-dab in the middle of what is arguably the busiest season for many of us (I’m looking at you, the end of a school year), yet here we are.

Our family had a wonderful Triduum this year, participating in our parish’s Spy Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and finally Easter Vigil masses and services, and phew, was I wiped out… 😴 My middle son and I also walked ten miles on Good Friday in a pilgrimage starting thirty miles away from our front door. We left our house at 5:30 a.m., and let me just say I felt that. I may or may not have napped for almost three solid hours Monday afternoon.

I’m now spending most of my waking hours steeped in book edits, and probably will be for the next few weeks until I get the next draft of this book to my editor. Which is to say: I’ll most likely be unapologetically absent, quiet, and/or brief on the internet for this current season, but it’s all in the name of making this book what it most needs to be.

Pass the dark chocolate and whiskey. And prayers. Thank you in advance!

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. Did you fast from screens, social media, or the internet in general for Lent and kinda want to still keep up a fast of some sort? and wrote a comprehensive guide for how to carry on the digital fast: “Like monks and hermits, we need a new structure for how to live, one that replaces what has been removed with a pattern of life that accords with our human creed.”

2. I can’t remember if I’ve ever shared this in 5QT, but my go-to recipe database for literal years now has been Plan to Eat. I use it almost daily as my online recipe storage box, and I can’t imagine functioning in my kitchen without it. It’s super-duper handy if you’re looking for something like it.

3. Whenever I have some reading downtime (and I make sure I do each day, even if it’s ten minutes), these days I pick up two novels-in-progress by two writing friends of mine: and Faith Moore, both of whom have asked me to read their books in advance. Are both these novels delightful? Yes. Am I woefully behind in getting back to them? Also yes. Alas.

4. If our grandmas had oura rings, would their lives have been less of a thrill? I nodded my way through ’s short but punchy words: “Have we dwindled life down to scores? Have we literally sucked the fun out of living?”

5. And finally, no one utters fopdoodle with their dignity intact—a fun list of goofy English words from .

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📻

Alexandre Desplat Radio—good background music for deep-focused book edits

Quotable 💬

“That is one good thing about this world...there are always sure to be more springs.”

-L.M. Montgomery

What’s the best Easter candy? 🍬

Yep, good-old plain chocolate is by far the best choice for Easter (though I don’t mind a jelly bean here and there). Peeps are an absolute abomination.

• Chocolate Bunnies/Eggs: 36.7%

• Cadbury Creme Eggs: 24.4%

• Robin’s Eggs: 18.9%

• Jelly Beans: 17.3%

• Peeps: 2.7 %

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Join Our 2026 Pilgrimage to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What one small thing could you do this weekend that would make your next week better?

Have a good weekend,

- Tsh

p.s. - Space evangelism (and welcome to the old neighborhood).

Happy Eastertide! I hope you had a lovely day of reflecting on Christus Victor.

Here’s your friendly reminder to keep on feasting, because Easter is a full fifty days... It feels good to be in a season of feasting after the long Lenten season, doesn’t it? Phew.

Our family had a fantastically full Holy Week, but it was also one of our best. …I’m grateful for the liturgical calendar and how it meets us just where we need to be.

Let’s talk spring reading, shall we? It’s a good season for reading, but it’s also one of the busiest times in family calendars, so for me, cracking open a book feels like both a luxury yet also a necessity. Giving myself permission to sit and read, even for fifteen minutes, is often just what’s needed to tether me to something more than my to-do list.

Read more

It’s hard to believe it’s already the last week of March... Sometimes beginnings of the year start slow for me, but not 2026 so far—this first quarter has absolutely whooshed by.

I love that the last week of the month coincides with the start of Holy Week, so instead of simmering in my in…

Read more

“Mrs. O, can we have more classes like this?” is always music to my ears when I hear comments like this as students file out to their next class.

I heard this from a few students this week, and because I was desperate to come up with an in-class project to review all the material we’d covered thus far since September, I whipped up an idea that morning. I divided the students into groups of five, then gave them modern-day scenarios: a local service business that encourages its employees to tell its clients something (an appliance, a car) is about to break down even though it’ll probably last several more years; a soldier ordered to participate in a drone strike with probable civilians (including children) nearby; students at public school demanding that a controversial guest speaker be uninvited because their topic could potentially cause harm, and the like. I then gave each group ten questions specific to their scenario in order to review what Western civilization has received from the three ancient cities that’ve poured its foundation: Jerusalem, Athens, and Rome. After answering the questions, they then had to come to a decision about what should be done in their modern scenario, decipher which ancient city most affected their ethical decision, then defend their answer to the class. It was a lively conversation, one that was much too short for our 1.5-hour class.

(If you’re curious, the city that was most cited? Athens, the birthplace of philosophy and democracy.)

…For the rest of the school year, we’re unpacking the events that led to the legalization (and therefore spread) of Christianity, the inevitable fall of the Roman Empire—and why, and all the pieces that fall into place to set the table for the time periods we’ll cover next year: the “Dark” Ages, Middle Ages, and Renaissance. I’m stoked.

Seven more weeks of the school year, but who’s counting! …Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is next week to kick off our study of Stoicism.

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. One of the more fun names on Substack, , has written a lengthy-but-worth-it (meaning: very readable) treatise on how to be happy. Through all the meta-analyses of various studies that actually say something, he’s synthesized it into ten big things, looking at it through a Christian lens: “If we define happiness as maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain through pursuing dopamine loops and passive living, then yes—that’s definitely not much of a priority for us in God’s mind. But a happiness that comes from living a rich, moral life that’s centered around Him and His kingdom is something followers of Jesus have been pointing toward from the very beginning. Joy, happiness, flourishing, etcetera aren’t the goal of our spirituality, but they’re an undeniable side effect.”

2. Speaking of… I know, I know I keep talking about and/or linking to Arthur Brooks, but since he’s making the rounds with his new book releasing in a few weeks, he’s all over the internet right now, and it’s genuinely good stuff…. Here he is this week—I really enjoyed his thoughts on marriage in particular (fascinating how much more eye contact women need than men).

3. Co-sign on this short thought here from : “You CANNOT increase your joy by avoiding discomfort. Joy and pain run on the same neural circuits, so you actually decrease your capacity for joy by avoiding discomfort.” I’m sure this is neurologically true, but this is also definitely spiritually and emotionally true, too. We were made for hard things.

4. All three of my kids have read the book Project Hail Mary and are frequently nudging me to read it1, and the two that have seen the movie really enjoyed it. I was happy to see my favorite father-son duo, and , discussing the movie in their new shared podcast—I haven’t yet finished their whole conversation, but I’m liking what I hear so far, and I agree with them on why sci-fi matters.

5. And finally, the jury’s still out on what I’m going to make (if anything) for an Easter dessert, but in years past I’ve made this relatively healthy carrot cake (I do cupcakes), and it’s delicious (I go with regular cream-cheese frosting). As a carnivore, last year I simply whipped cream with a touch of allulose and vanilla, then froze it and enjoyed it with blueberries—and since I hardly eat sweet things any more, it felt like a serious treat and was just the hit I needed.

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📚

Project Hail Mary, by Andy Weir—the recommended audio version2 (slowly—see above)

Quotable 💬

“I find no difficulty in believing that the veil between the worlds, nowhere else (for me) so opaque to the intellect, is nowhere else so thin and permeable to divine operation. Here a hand from the hidden country touches not only my soul but my body. Here the prig, the don, the modern, in me have no privilege over the savage or the child. Here is big medicine and strong magic...the command, after all, was Take, eat: not Take, understand. ”

-C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm

What’s your least-worst chore? 🧹

I agree with the majority here; I actually don’t mind folding laundry (unless it’s Mt. Everest because no one else in the family is willing to do their part). Folding laundry is therapeutic and rhythmic; it’s touching clean things, and it requires me to stay in one place for a few moments. It’s also an excuse to listen to something while I do the otherwise monotonous work. A hundred years ago, laundry would have been an all-day event. Now, if done right, it can be a quiet hum in the background, followed by an excuse to meditate for ten minutes. (I also don’t mind vacuuming for the same reason.)

• Folding laundry: 46.8%

• Handwashing dishes: 25%

• Sweeping and/or vacuuming: 20%

• Dusting surfaces: 7.4%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Our 2026 Pilgrimage to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What are three things you’ve learned about yourself this Lenten season?

Other than our subscribers’ monthly gratitude chat this upcoming Monday, I’m taking next week off the internet to better keep my focus on Holy Week, so no 5QT next Friday. I’ll see you in two weeks!

See you then,

- Tsh

p.s. - Increasingly me, after three cups of coffee.

As you’re reading this I’m camping with my clan. The weather’s supposed to be beautiful, we’ve got a few more days still until Spring Break winds down, and we’ve got one of the better camp spots at our favorite go-to local state park. We booked this weekend ages ago as a way to celebrate a final family hurrah before the oldest kiddo gets married (in less than two months now 🤯)—unbeknownst to us at that time, her fiancé would now be living in the area, too, so he’s joining us as well!

It should be a delightful spring weekend.

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. One of the challenges of camping this time of year: Lent. Since we fast from meat on Fridays, and since we’re big meat-eaters in our family, let’s just say the weekly Lenten fast feels very …Lent-y for our clan. But we’re gonna try fish tacos over a campfire—we’ll see how it goes!

2. If you’ve read 5QT for any length of time, you know of my great love for Arthur Brooks. I’ve already pre-ordered his book that releases at the end of this month, but I was happy to recently see him chat with George Kamel, a more recent follow of mine (as I continue to do research for my upperclassman personal finance class next fall). It was a great conversation (here it is in video form, if you prefer).

3. This past weekend we got another five ladies for our backyard flock! The chicks are currently living in a big cardboard box topped off with a window screen in our dining room and are incessantly chirping at all hours of the day. I used to be intimidated at the prospect of chickens, especially in the early stages, but once you get the hang of it it’s really pretty simple. They’ll live indoors in their box for a few more weeks, and then we’ll slowly introduce them to the big girls currently in the coop out back. There’s a whole art and science to that part, but we’ll get to it later. …Let’s just say it involves watermelon.

4. Speaking of chickens… I really enjoyed this piece from about why all the girl bosses suddenly want chickens. It was reminiscent of my about-face I had in light of burnout in my work about eight-ish years ago, so I wouldn’t exactly say “suddenly” here—I’ve seen a slow, subtle change with a lot of women in this line of work since I started writing online more than eighteen years ago now. But I totally get what she means, and it made me all the more glad I waved goodbye long ago to places like Instagram and media like girl-boss podcasts (and goodness, I haven’t made a funnel in years): “We’re not checking out. We’re hedging in the most human way possible.”

5. And finally, because you know I can’t go too long without sharing one of these from Max Miller… Here’s that deep-dive on what pioneers ate on the Oregon Trail that you never asked for.

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📺

Annika1

Quotable 💬

“Real freedom does not mean being ruled by one’s impulses from one moment to the next. Just the opposite. Being free means not being a slave to one’s moods; it means being guided in a course of action by the fundamental choices one has made, choices one does not repudiate in the face of new circumstances.” -Fr. Jacques Philippe2

It’s been a couple months now… How are those New Year’s resolutions/goals/plans coming along? 🥂

This question was a suggestion from Kyle, and I thought it was fun because I genuinely, legitimately forgot that New Year’s was even not too long ago. …Joke’s on it, though, because I had no goals or resolutions to remember in the first place, like the majority of you. I typically do make some sort of quarterly goal, but what with absolutely everything on my plate this spring—daughter’s wedding, book deadline, class, senior graduating, etc. etc. etc.—I gave myself an overload of grace this year. And I’m glad I did.

• I’m guilt-free because I never made ‘em in the first place: 65.3%

• Uh… They’re ekeing along, I suppose. Hit or miss: 20.6%

• Solid! I review them weekly and track my progress: 7.5%

• Oh yeah—I completely forgot about those: 6.6%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Our 2026 Pilgrimage to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

You’ve got a weekend free, but with only enough time to go somewhere nearby with one tank of gas, there and back. Where do you go?

Have a great week,

- Tsh

p.s. - NYC dogs in bags.

I’m smack-dab in the middle of book edits this afternoon as I write this, and I’m actually making good traction (for once). Therefore, this particular 5QT will be a bit on the brief side. Onward!

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. A few days ago I republished to my upgraded subscribers an older piece from The Art of Simple (thanks for answering my question last week!). I just unlocked it for everyone, so here it is, if you’d like to either remember it from years ago or read it fresh for the first time: “Remember what the wise sage Winnie-the-Pooh once said: ‘You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.’ Don’t ignore the friendship possibilities God has already put in your life in the name of waiting for that one perfect kindred spirit that may not exist. Embrace partial solutions, in this and in all of life this side of the veil.”

2. Why do ‘mother of the bride’-specific dresses all look like they think I have big hair and time-traveled from the 90s? I think I finally found the dress I’ll wear to my daughter’s upcoming wedding, but I had to dig deep (and ultimately search for ‘bridesmaid’ or simply ‘cocktail’ dresses). If you needed that wildly specific tip for your life at the moment—well, there you go.

3. Speaking of the 90s (and 80s, for that matter), I was fascinated by this piece about the resurgence of an appreciation for physical media from , especially among Gen-Zers who never grew up with it: “Nostalgia is absolutely a major cause of this moment. Yet, to leave it at that would be missing something. That something would be a cottage industry that is rapidly expanding and improving at the same time the Internet gets worse and subscription costs go up.”

4. I’m working on plans for teaching a personal finance elective at our co-op next year, and as I gather resources and ideas for this class, I was reminded just how much I like our family budget-tracking software. I know, such a boring topic! But I thought I’d at least share, in case you’re in the market for something (I know I often focus on our family finances in the spring—hello, taxes). Turns out my software of choice, Monarch, has a thing where current users can provide a link for others to get 50% off their first year—so, here you go. They’re not paying me or an affiliate of any sort! I just thought I’d pass this along.

5. And finally, ten unsexy habits that save me serious money. Similar to the above, this isn’t usually the subject matter I typically consume, but as I research for my forthcoming class, I found this pretty commonsensical yet helpful if it’s needed. (At least I do most of these things, too.)

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📻

My new Best of playlist

Quotable 💬

“We aren’t always free to change things, but we are always free to live through them in faith, hope, and love so that in every situation we grow humanly and spiritually.” -Fr. Jacques Philippe1

Choose one and only one… 🥩

This quirky question was thanks to my fifteen-year-old son, and as a current carnivore it spoke deeply to my innermost soul. Akin to most carnivores (who can’t shut up about the bioavailability of all needed nutrients through it), I’m Team Beef™ all the way. With a side of bacon.

• Beef: 43.8%

• Chicken: 43.4%

• Pork: 9%

• Turkey: 3.8%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Our 2026 Pilgrimage to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

We’re just over the halfway point of Lent now—how’s it going for you? What are you learning about yourself?

Have a great week,

- Tsh

p.s. - Gondor calls for aid.

I first wrote the following essay in the second half of the website’s life, but like most of the topics I wrote about there, its idea had long been taking root in my mind for years, slowly growing from a seed to a spout to a full-bloom leafy plant. Five-plus years later, I’m relieved to say that not only do I still agree with my original ruminations, but I’m on the other side of my need as witness to how well God meets heartfelt desires like this.

As with all my essays I plan to republish, I’ve edited it for clarity (because I’m a better writer now, thank goodness) and content (because some of my ideas have deepened or even changed with earned wisdom, also thank goodness).

Enjoy.

The topic of friendship has been a common one around our house lately. We have several kids who’ve shared a desire for more—or for more like-minded—friends, and after taking off my mom hat when the kids are in bed, I pour myself a drink and confide the same thing to Kyle.

I, too, would like to have more like-minded friends. It’s a weird thing, to be a full-grown adult and confess that it’s hard to make friends. It conjures up playground emotions of vulnerability and awkwardness because it puts you in a position of need, which feels uncomfortable.

Being on the receiving end of years of emails and private messages from readers: a lot of us feel this way.

Some of you who’ve written me are in your teens and have confessed a desire to find friends who share a kindred-spirited value of people over things, quality over quantity, meaning over status.

Some of you are in your twenties, doing the career-building thing and feeling alone, or doing the young parent thing and likewise feeling alone, and overall feeling alone as you navigate some pretty big waters.

Some of you are in your thirties and forties, like me, realizing how isolating our roles can be, whether they be breadwinner or stay-at-home parent or something in-between, longing for more local support and camaraderie.

Some of you are older than me, walking ahead and confessing that it’s still hard as we get older to make friends.

Let’s just say it collectively: finding friends can be hard. But finding friends is also so very worth it.

Here’s what I’ve told my three children for years now1: partial solutions. It’s something my therapist in Thailand taught me years ago, it’s something I’ve also been writing about for years, and I say this phrase at least once a week at home.

Life is full of partial solutions—where there’s a way to get a need met, and it might not be the ideal way, but it’s a way that still works.

Partial solutions apply to almost every area of life, from decorating our home, to getting dressed in the morning, to carving out a career for ourselves, to making dinner, to electing a politician. We can’t do the absolute ideal thing, but we can do the good-enough. And of course this is the case with friendships, too.

When I espouse the idea of partial solutions to my kids, I’m telling this to myself, too, because it’s easy for me to build a wall in order to hold on too tightly to my ideals, because when it comes to friendship, I really would love to find more kindred spirits2, so I embrace my must-have list of qualities in a person in the name of holding on to my integrity.

I’d like my ideal friend to be uber-local to me (as in, lives in my neighborhood), an entrepreneurial breadwinner who gets the challenge of providing for her family both financially and maternally, a Christian—with the same theological convictions as me, please—and while we’re at it, it’d be great if she also currently lives in a fixer-upper renovation and deals with all those challenges therein. Oh, and a mom with kids the same ages as mine.

I’m unintentionally treating real human beings as caricatures of personhood instead of divinely-made souls walking through real life on earth, like me. Ridiculous, right? But when I’m feeling pouty and pitiful, I take a step back and realize that this is precisely what I’m doing: being ridiculous. (Another word for this is picky.)

Here’s what I’ve been telling my children, and therefore myself, too: Pray for and hope for close friendships. This is a good desire. But don’t be so idealistic that you’re blind to the opportunities for friendship right in front of you. The person in your life that you least expect might end up the answer to your prayer.

This looks like pursuing that person already in your life instead of waiting for someone who might not exist. It looks like looking out for who might need a friend more than you. It looks like taking the initiative to get together when you’d rather wait to be invited. It looks like keeping healthy boundaries when you feel particularly vulnerable about all this, not turning to social media for a facsimile of the real thing.

It looks like continually keeping your eyes peeled for someone who fits the bill, but it looks even more like keeping partial solutions at the forefront of your mind when you yearn for companionship. Maybe God’s already answering this prayer; you just need to recognize who it is He’s really bringing to you.

We can be each other’s kindred spirits in the most surprising ways; it doesn’t need to look how we think it should look. Very often, the path to finding a good kindred spirit is to simply reach out first to that one person you already have in mind. Ask her to coffee; ask him if he’d like to go on a walk during your lunch break. Go first and initiate, because even though it feels like you’re the only one who’d like a friend—you’re not.

Remember what the wise sage Winnie-the-Pooh once said: “You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

Don’t ignore the friendship possibilities God has already put in your life in the name of waiting for that one perfect kindred spirit that may not exist. Embrace partial solutions, in this and in all of life this side of the veil.

Partial solutions is the best answer to the question of where and how to find deep, meaningful friendships.

This time of year is always interesting as a teacher, because everyone has a case of the blerghs… even the teachers. My students are usually top-notch and have great attitudes, but I can tell that even they are hankering for Spring Break. I’m happy to report that ours begins in just a few weeks, and I am here for it! As a family we’re not doing much other than a few days of camping, but it’ll be nice to have a breather and get out in some nature.

My go-to solution for the school-year blerghs: remember your why for learning the way you do, be it homeschool or wherever. Get some fresh air every day (even when it’s still cold or unseasonably warm). Go on daily walks and move your body, just for fun. Perhaps (briefly) set down the challenging classic and read something short and light-hearted. Schedule a game night one evening—yes, even in the midst of busyness. And keep that menu plan nice and easy.

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. Speaking of my students, this week we had a really good in-class conversation on AI and its role in the learning and writing process—and why it’s so important (especially in their generation) to fight with every fiber of our beings the over-reliance on it to do our human work for us (because tool = something that helps us do our work; machine = something that does our work for us). I liked ’s recent thoughts on AI slop, in particular its connection with our diets: “Our bodies crave instant gratification, and the sugar highs and lows we experience from the junk food exacerbate this. Much easier to pick up the phone than go outside to see wildlife (which requires us to expend energy). Much easier to scroll through AI slop than enjoy a good book. When we want to be entertained, we throw patience and effort to the wind and instantly pick up our mobile slop dispensers and scroll the hours away — alongside a packet of crisps or two.”

2. I love the wisdom that’s been going around for a long time (from the likes of Arthur Brooks and Andrew Huberman) about going on a walk first thing in the morning before having any coffee. The problem with that for me is that I wake up naturally at dark-thirty, and as a woman I’m not going on a walk in the dark by myself, even in our ridiculously super-safe neighborhood. But I’ve decided to embrace partial solutions, as always, and the past few weeks have been doing body stretches and light pilates in the living room near all the windows as the sun comes up (I may switch to the back deck next week). It’s been delightful, and it really is fascinating how much better I feel if I do that before having coffee. Once the sun and/or Kyle is up, I’m happily leashing up the dog and strolling through the neighborhood—but before then, I’m doing the closest thing that works for me, and it’s been really good for my mindset (and my body the rest of the day, surprisingly enough).

3. I appreciated this reflection on the role of laughter in our pursuit of virtue—even when we’re the punchline. I admit I struggle with that sometimes, yet ’s words are what I needed to read: “No one enjoys being laughed at. But bearing ridicule may be the kind of foolishness that is consistent with the cross. If we can allow it, mockery can become a kind of small apocalypse, revealing what society thinks of us, what is truly inside our hearts, and the marrow of our actions both public and private.”

4. From late 2007 to the end of 2020, I ran a website called The Art of Simple, and over time, I published many of my own thoughts as well as a smattering of writing friends’ too. I’m toying with the idea of importing some of my favorites written by me (and perhaps by others’ with their permission) here into Substack. It’s getting expensive where I’m hosting it, and Substack is so user-friendly and easy to find. …Any thoughts on this idea?

5. And finally, I loved this short shot-in-the-arm of encouragement from Fr. Mike Schmitz. I completely agree, too—lately I’ve been spending my early morning hours with Jesus just… listening. Not starting with bringing him my laundry list of concerns (because he already knows all of it anyway), but simply enjoying his presence. It’s been a game-changer. 10/10, would recommend.

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📺

Masterpiece’s new The Count of Monte Cristo series—it’s excellent (so far)!

Quotable 💬

“Faith frees us from doubt, error, lies, blindness, and nonsense. Hope frees us from fear, discouragement, worry, and guilt. Love frees us from egoism, avarice, turning in on ourselves, and a narrow, meaningless life without value or fruitfulness. It frees us from frustrations and bitterness. The measure of our freedom is the measure of our faith, of our hope, of our love.” -Fr. Jacques Philippe1

What’s the best thing about the current weather in your neck of the woods? 🌳

I really liked this question from Kyle, because it’s not about a set type of weather, it’s about all the craziness that this time of year brings just about everywhere in the world. If your area is like mine (central Texas), weather changes by the hour. So for my answer today, I’m going with “I love wearing shorts and t-shirts in February!” because it is genuinely warm already around here, and I’m choosing to embrace it.

• No matter the temp, I’m choosing to go with the flow by the hour: 66.7%

• Hey, I like a good reason to stay indoors: 17.4%

• I love wearing shorts and t-shirts in February: 15.9%

Find the next poll here.

Historic Highlands: Our 2026 Pilgrimage to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

“There is no other place like Scotland in the whole world.” - Sir Walter Scott

Come with us to Scotland! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Quick Links 🔗

• 📐 Create your own Rule of Life

• 🎧 Listen to A Drink With a Friend

• 📖 Read my books

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Join the next pilgrimage: Scotland!

Create your Rule of Life ✍️

Question(s) For You to Ponder… 🤔

What are you learning about yourself this Lent so far?

Have a great week,

- Tsh

p.s. - A sparkler, an egg, and a moment of truth.