5 Quick Things #355 💌

relationships, marriage (prep), tech downgrading, & the best breakfast

Feb 14, 2025

Hey there,

This week we had our parish’s monthly women’s hangout at a local café, and the conversation ultimately turned to our marriages — how we met our husbands, how long were our engagements, how far apart we are in age, our debates on baby names when we were pregnant, and other bits of lore and sundry you don’t always know with the friends you meet well into adulthood. It was a fun way to know each other better, and it reminded me that those little things from the past are often the meaningful things that make us more of who we are in the present.

In reflecting on how Kyle and I met — I’ve told it many times in many places, but to summarize for new readers: it was on a dirt road in a tiny village in Kosovo on the Serbian border right after the conflict with Milosevic; we were both serving with non-profits and weren’t looking in the slightest for our spouses, but there you go — I’m just so grateful that God is in charge of scripting our lives. We humans so often think we know what’s best, but we so often absolutely do not. And thankfully, God is good and has all our ultimate good in mind.

…Do the two of us care much about Valentine’s Day? We do not. But do we love each other like crazy, and after 22.5 years still feel like we’re dating? In many ways, yes. I’m grateful I can easily say it’s a gift and a grace. Grateful, grateful, grateful.

*The Lovers*, by John Atkinson Grimshaw #

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. New episode of A Drink With a Friend! I’m joined by Douglas McKelvey, author and editor of the Every Moment Holy prayer collections, which I have long loved and used frequently. We talk about the role of communal prayer, why the need for both written and spontaneous prayer, and why it’s helpful to use prayers both new and old, crafted by others, to help deepen our relationships with God.
2. In case you missed it, earlier this week I published the second letter to my daughter in a semester-long series we’re practicing together as she studies 5,000+ miles away in Austria. Let’s just say that right now I am learning more than I could possibly capture in written words about parenting an adult child in this new-to-me stage of things. Wild how we’re thrust into new seasons without our awareness that something new will shift, and when it inevitably does, all we can really do is respond with the grace God graciously gives us to do so.
3. I loved Katie Marquette’s recent reflections on generational relationships, especially in family, and how life bends and turns through time in general. It was lovely: “One day I am eighteen years old, wearing my signature look of athletic shorts and a button-down shirt, hair down to my waist, and swimming in the river at my new college. And the next day, I am sitting in a Shakespeare class next to a boy who will play me Thais Meditation on a laptop in my dorm (‘I think you’ll like this song’) and ten years later will hold our daughter in a hospital room. Shift, turn. Who could have known, one day to the next, what would come?”
4. You know I’m always contemplating the slower, more local, analog life, which includes breaking free from tech dependency. I really appreciated this recent essay about an artist downgrading her phone, and thusly becoming an evangelist for the practice: “But is it really possible to overcome it — to downgrade — without greatly inconveniencing ourselves and everyone we know? My answer: What could possibly be more inconvenient than our current situation?”
5. And finally… It’s not exactly new, but seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d share because it really is so good — yes, it’s called Marriage Prep with Fr. Mike Schmitz, but I think the conversation is a lovely reminder of what marriage is and for, even for those of us married 20-plus years.

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📚

Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Frances de Sales (again, because it’s that good)

Quotable 💬

“By loving your neighbor, you prepare your eye to see God.”

― St. Augustine

What’s your favorite thing about February? 💘

My personal answer isn’t really poll-ish: it’s the month of my first-born’s birthday. Otherwise, February is a rather blergh month to me — the weather is a tease here in Central Texas, yet the second half does show its glimmer of spring hope, which means I typically do some early planting in my raised beds. I suppose its spring-likeness is my answer, though yesterday’s high was in the 40s, so it doesn’t exactly feel like it this week. Alas.

It's nice and short: 29%
It's an ordinary, not-much-happens-here month: 27.1%
It's starting to feel like spring: 26%
Valentine's Day: 15%
Sportsball events: 2%
It's starting to feel like autumn (for you Southern Hemisphere-ers): 1%

Find next week’s poll here.

Lent Begins in 19 Days (!) 🍋

I know, right? It feels like we just started Advent. …But nope, our next liturgical season begins in just a few weeks. I’ll share in more detail soon how I personally approach this season, but for now: if you’d like an open-and-go, simple-but-rich read for the season, consider my book Bitter & Sweet.

I use the Psalms to unpack the seven vices and corresponding virtues as we walk the six weeks to Easter. I also provide basic, 101 explanations for the season, including its traditional practices, which is helpful for both total newbies who never grew up with Lent as a tradition and for seasoned pros who’d appreciate a quick refresher.

Each day’s reading is mercifully short, serving as a kind companion for you to reflect on your own or with your family and friends. And like its Advent sister, Shadow & Light, this book includes compendium music and art as well.

Order it now so you’re ready by Ash Wednesday on March 5:

Check out Bitter & Sweet 🍋