5 Quick Things #386 🍎

boy tolerance, holiday smells, community nights, & apples

Nov 14, 2025

Hi there,

This is the season when I tend to feel at odds with my outer and inner life. Work and parenting tends to really pick up right now: article deadlines, book edits, essays to grade, essays to write, kids to encourage, kids to lovingly nag about their chores and schoolwork and scholarship applications, kids to (soon) welcome home after a semester away, kids to bake bread and buy groceries for.

And yet the weather, the scent of backyard bonfires, the crunch of the leaves underneath my feet, the hygge-ness of novels and their plots, the yellow autumn glow of the sunset bouncing off the deck chair, the one-more-cup of coffee waiting in the carafe... These things are beckoning me to slow down. I’m yearning for it right now, and based on my conversations with tons of people around me, I’m not alone.

I think there’s a two-pronged solution here: part one is to power through the acedia and ‘do the hard work anyway’ in the name of cultivating more of the virtue of magnanimity, for the sake of my soul and for the benefit of those around me. Part two is to listen to the season’s beckoning and not let it slip by in the name of Getting Things Done. The beauty of this short season is the best thing about it, and to brush it aside like an annoying gnat means to miss what makes autumn and its slow onramp to the holidays so nourishing.

Here’s to doing the laundry and the essay-grading and all the other annoying work, and here’s also to ending the day at a reasonable hour with a lovely drink in hand on the deck chair after an ambling neighborhood walk to witness the day’s sunset. Both are necessary, and both are better because of each other.

*Colonnades of Canberra’s Civic Centre*, by Ethel Carrick (1944) #

5 Quick Things ☕️

1. In this week’s Drink With a Friend episode, I’m talking with
Hadden Turner
, who writes the well-loved newsletter Over the Field and lives in northern England among farmers and apples. He shares with me his choice of a favorite book from childhood (one I’ve never heard of before), as well as a recent read for his choice of favorites as an adult (I read it for the first time this year, too!).
2. As a homeschooling mom to only teen boys in the house now, I’m continually thinking about how to best nurture their God-given maleness so that they become who they’re made to be and flourish, and not live subconsciously as though they’re defective girls (I know that’s a big statement and I don’t have bandwidth for a whole essay about it, but I do believe our culture, especially in education, often unintentionally treats boys this way). I appreciated this short list of ways from
Alvaro de Vicente
to increase my “boy tolerance”: “To be boy-tolerant is not to indulge immaturity or excuse vice; it is to recognize in a boy’s energy the raw material of virtue. The goal is to help a boy learn how to channel his vitality toward good ends. The world does not need nice guys; it needs dangerously good men.”
3. Even though I love autumn and holiday scented candles, the good ones can be ridiculously expensive. Hot tip: light simple scent-free candles for their ambience, then diffuse an affordable essential oil like this to waft the festive scent of orange and spices throughout the house. A few drops goes a long way, plenty to get you through an entire season.
4. Okay, I love so very much
Sarah Chapman
’s idea of six weeks of simple, weekly community nights: “When it’s filled with people, our little patch of weedy grass turns into a beautiful space for community.” My brain is a-storming… What would it look like if only fifty readers here did something like this in their neighborhoods? I dare say it could be the start of something big.
5. And finally, continuing my November practice of listing here seven things I’m grateful for: last weekend’s camping trip to sit under the canopy of orange and yellow leaves, the mattress topper we added to our camper’s mattress (🙌), lovely smelling candles and oils (see #3), the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the ick-free heavy cream at Costco, baby laughter, and I’ve got another driver in the household again. Huzzah!

Currently Reading, Watching, Listening 📻

The recently-found fall vibes but instrumental because i’m studying playlist

Quotable 💬

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When do you start decorating for Christmas? 🎄

I’m a combination of ‘day after Thanksgiving’ and ‘first day of Advent’—but gradually, if I can help it (though some seasons honestly call for more decor earlier on). The key in all this—and maybe I’ll ask you this in a future poll—is when you take your decor down. Because there’s an objectively correct answer to that one.

The day after Thanksgiving 44.5%
Whenever I get around to it: 23.5%
The first day of Advent: 15.1%
December 1: 10.7%
November 1: 4%
Christmas Eve: 2.2%

Find next week’s poll here.

Scotland in 2026! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I’d love you to join us for next summer’s pilgrimage: this time we’re going to Scotland to witness the beauty of the Highlands. We’ll wander through the Isle of Skye, spend a day with sheepdogs at a real working farm, sample some Scottish whiskey, walk the end of Fife’s Pilgrim’s Way into St. Andrews, go to the actual Highland Games, and much more. Your family is welcome to join mine! We’d love to have you.

Learn more about the trip 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿