We've Always Asked the Wrong Question 🤔

This one morning practice has changed everything for me. (Really.)

The past few months have been weird for me because I’ve felt both swamped with work and delightfully freer to pursue that which interests me than I have in years. It’s a sign that things are as they should be, I suppose, to have a full plate and a clear conscience to not sweat what They say you Should do with your time and talents.

During these months, I’ve vacillated between feeling like I have SO many things to say and absolutely NOTHING to say — not much in between. There are mornings when I can’t wait to get words on a page, and there are entire days when nothing but terrible song lyrics autoplay on repeat in the ol’ noggin. I’ve wondered what the difference is between these two states of mind. What’s going on when I feel like all I want to do is putz around on YouTube or play with my dog, and moments when I can’t find my pen and journal fast enough?

For one, I have more to say when I remember to refill my Prozac. That’s a real thing, and it’s a real twitch in the brain when I forget to click the ‘yes, please; refill away’ button on the pharmacy website. It’s also no joke to say I don’t have as much to say when I go to bed too late. It makes me think weird thoughts and feel weird feelings and eat unhealthy things — like that new adage says, when you’re mad at everyone it means you’re hungry; when you’re sure everyone’s mad at you it means you’re tired.

But when I remember to pop that pill and go to bed like the grownup in charge of me that I am, here’s the one difference between the days when I feel confident in what I have to say and who I am, and the days when I feel unsure and not a bit idiotic: