This struck such a chord with me; my eldest just turned 9, and I had the startling realization that our time with her 'at home' is halfway through. And with seasoned parents telling me the second half goes even more quickly than the first - which I experienced in about half a blink of an eye - I find myself wanting to climb into the hands of Time's Clock to beg for a pause. Not because I want to keep her a child forever, but really so I have some stolen moments to come up with the Plan or Mission Statement for our family. Writings like yours, Tsh, nudging me to create and follow a Rule of Life and that demonstrate God's promise to give us just what we need in the season we need it, call me to hope.
Such a big transition. I have three out of our home(mostly), and one starting high school. When one, in particular, was about to head to college, I had similar feelings/thoughts as when I was 9 months pregnant. - Get this child out of my body; she’s run out of space! It’s time already! I am terrified! How is life going to change? Is everything going to be ok? Is this going to hurt too much?! …
Having the comparison helped me with all of the ups and downs, because there can be so many loop de loops!
Maybe it's just that mine are a little slower transitioning to young adulthood than most, but I've found these post-21 years every bit as disconcerting as their teenage years. The choices are bigger, riskier, and ... dare I say more foolhardy, with potentially far more serious consequences than when they lived under our roof. I suppose I should be grateful that they still share the details with us ... but honestly? I crave the days when the only gummies they wanted were of the worm variety. Those were the good days.
I have also been contemplating seasons lately. I was struggling mentally a bit with juggling far-flung adult children, a grandchild on the way, and helping to care for aging parents and in-laws. Then I realized "This is the season I am in right now." That reframing somehow changed everything. It didn't move my kids nearer to me, it didn't take anything off the list of things I do for my aging family members, but it lightened the mental load I was feeling.
Launching kids out of the nest is never easy on a momma's heart, but as someone "on the other side," I have to say that adult children are delightful! Praying for your journey, Tsh.
My 3 big kids recently turned 16, 13 and 12. I'm awash in hormones (mine and theirs). The 16 yo now drives himself and we're making plans for him to be away at least 4 weeks this summer. Thank you for identifying the feeling of the ascent being over, of being in the loop season. Also, your three ending footnotes feel like the loop season poem or the prayer.
Sending love to you and T this weekend! Jonathan is in Arizona right now working on Super Bowl halftime show - so I’m right there with you in the, how has this happened?!! And praying with a fervor I never have before. ;) xo
Knowing all-these-things during those busy “golden years” and not-so-golden moments, I drank it all in: the hard, the hilarious, the couch cuddles and curse words... and it is hands-open-before-God gratefulness that settles in my soul as each child has ~become~ the adult. Each at different chronological ages, to be sure, but each arriving, as if on time with themselves. Truly touched by your acknowledgment of these Seasons and your (apparently) willing embracing of them.
As I balance a warm cup of coffee in my left hand and you’re memory filled letter in my right I’m awash in those feelings of sadness and hope that I will soon have to revisit after many years gone by.
It’s early morning as I lean against the kitchen counter window with the bright sun on my shoulders. Finally the rainy days will clear up for at least the next week. Better I read the “Seasons” on such a beautiful morning than under the cloudy skies. It’s a beautiful heartwarming story.
You see, I’m turning seventy this year. And after raising two kids a son and a daughter I now have a grandson graduating high school this year. He and I are very close. I read to my “little buddy”, taught him card games and board games. How to ride a bike, we went fishing. As he got older I taught him tennis and golf. The family still lives here in town. So I know I’ll have to deal with those emotions when he leaves for college. And you nailed it with your descriptive words. But he’s not the one I’m writing about here.
It’s our daughter.
She loved the Disney stories and Dr Seuss. The playground at the park.
I built her a large doll house when she had her Barbie dolls. She’s forty-one now and moved back in with us four years ago after a divorce. We were always close even though she and I butted heads now and then. She’s of strong character and opinionated. I always kept in regular contact through her college years. I’ll never forget lugging her computer equipment and furniture and clothes up three flights of stairs to her dorm room.
But she’s talking about getting her own apartment now and although I realize it’s best for her, I feel those same old emotional feelings beginning to wash over me once again. Good grief, I’ll handle it. But I’ll miss her dearly all over again. I can chuckle at myself here!
And as the morning sun sends it’s warmth through my kitchen window and my coffee cup empties I notice my feathered friends in the backyard are awaiting feeder refills. I think I can count on them to never leave home. Ha ha.
“occasional bone-headed choices and opinions notwithstanding…she is ready” - yessss. We’re sending a daughter off to college this fall too. She is my second to launch, but I have been telling younger parents a version of this when they ask me what it’s like…only you crafted it so much better. These years have been some of my most rewarding parenting experiences thus far. And I second the magic of ages 8-12. I have a 10-year-old boy who is pure imagination & joy.
I have a fridge magnet that says "The first forty years of parenthood are the hardest". A wry chuckle is the usual reaction from my contemporaries. My son turned 40 last year and his sisters said "Thank goodness for that, Mum - you can stop worrying about him now!" Ha - never! :)
Fortunately none of my offspring require serious worrying about (and for that I am extremely grateful) but how well I remember when each of them moved out.....and came back and moved out again, two or three times each, including with partners and children in recent years when between houses locally or shifting away, or coming back..... you get the picture. But that first time you wave them goodbye to their exciting new lives is such a wrench and you think, where did those years go? Now my eldest grandchild is turning 10 this year and I'm thinking the same thing!
Thank you for your beautiful words, Tsh - and all the best for this next phase in your lives xx
This struck such a chord with me; my eldest just turned 9, and I had the startling realization that our time with her 'at home' is halfway through. And with seasoned parents telling me the second half goes even more quickly than the first - which I experienced in about half a blink of an eye - I find myself wanting to climb into the hands of Time's Clock to beg for a pause. Not because I want to keep her a child forever, but really so I have some stolen moments to come up with the Plan or Mission Statement for our family. Writings like yours, Tsh, nudging me to create and follow a Rule of Life and that demonstrate God's promise to give us just what we need in the season we need it, call me to hope.
So timely and lovely. Praying for you, Tsh!
Such a big transition. I have three out of our home(mostly), and one starting high school. When one, in particular, was about to head to college, I had similar feelings/thoughts as when I was 9 months pregnant. - Get this child out of my body; she’s run out of space! It’s time already! I am terrified! How is life going to change? Is everything going to be ok? Is this going to hurt too much?! …
Having the comparison helped me with all of the ups and downs, because there can be so many loop de loops!
Maybe it's just that mine are a little slower transitioning to young adulthood than most, but I've found these post-21 years every bit as disconcerting as their teenage years. The choices are bigger, riskier, and ... dare I say more foolhardy, with potentially far more serious consequences than when they lived under our roof. I suppose I should be grateful that they still share the details with us ... but honestly? I crave the days when the only gummies they wanted were of the worm variety. Those were the good days.
I have also been contemplating seasons lately. I was struggling mentally a bit with juggling far-flung adult children, a grandchild on the way, and helping to care for aging parents and in-laws. Then I realized "This is the season I am in right now." That reframing somehow changed everything. It didn't move my kids nearer to me, it didn't take anything off the list of things I do for my aging family members, but it lightened the mental load I was feeling.
Launching kids out of the nest is never easy on a momma's heart, but as someone "on the other side," I have to say that adult children are delightful! Praying for your journey, Tsh.
My 3 big kids recently turned 16, 13 and 12. I'm awash in hormones (mine and theirs). The 16 yo now drives himself and we're making plans for him to be away at least 4 weeks this summer. Thank you for identifying the feeling of the ascent being over, of being in the loop season. Also, your three ending footnotes feel like the loop season poem or the prayer.
I love this so much. Needed it today.
Sending love to you and T this weekend! Jonathan is in Arizona right now working on Super Bowl halftime show - so I’m right there with you in the, how has this happened?!! And praying with a fervor I never have before. ;) xo
Knowing all-these-things during those busy “golden years” and not-so-golden moments, I drank it all in: the hard, the hilarious, the couch cuddles and curse words... and it is hands-open-before-God gratefulness that settles in my soul as each child has ~become~ the adult. Each at different chronological ages, to be sure, but each arriving, as if on time with themselves. Truly touched by your acknowledgment of these Seasons and your (apparently) willing embracing of them.
As I balance a warm cup of coffee in my left hand and you’re memory filled letter in my right I’m awash in those feelings of sadness and hope that I will soon have to revisit after many years gone by.
It’s early morning as I lean against the kitchen counter window with the bright sun on my shoulders. Finally the rainy days will clear up for at least the next week. Better I read the “Seasons” on such a beautiful morning than under the cloudy skies. It’s a beautiful heartwarming story.
You see, I’m turning seventy this year. And after raising two kids a son and a daughter I now have a grandson graduating high school this year. He and I are very close. I read to my “little buddy”, taught him card games and board games. How to ride a bike, we went fishing. As he got older I taught him tennis and golf. The family still lives here in town. So I know I’ll have to deal with those emotions when he leaves for college. And you nailed it with your descriptive words. But he’s not the one I’m writing about here.
It’s our daughter.
She loved the Disney stories and Dr Seuss. The playground at the park.
I built her a large doll house when she had her Barbie dolls. She’s forty-one now and moved back in with us four years ago after a divorce. We were always close even though she and I butted heads now and then. She’s of strong character and opinionated. I always kept in regular contact through her college years. I’ll never forget lugging her computer equipment and furniture and clothes up three flights of stairs to her dorm room.
But she’s talking about getting her own apartment now and although I realize it’s best for her, I feel those same old emotional feelings beginning to wash over me once again. Good grief, I’ll handle it. But I’ll miss her dearly all over again. I can chuckle at myself here!
And as the morning sun sends it’s warmth through my kitchen window and my coffee cup empties I notice my feathered friends in the backyard are awaiting feeder refills. I think I can count on them to never leave home. Ha ha.
Tsh I enjoy you’re writing, thanks
“occasional bone-headed choices and opinions notwithstanding…she is ready” - yessss. We’re sending a daughter off to college this fall too. She is my second to launch, but I have been telling younger parents a version of this when they ask me what it’s like…only you crafted it so much better. These years have been some of my most rewarding parenting experiences thus far. And I second the magic of ages 8-12. I have a 10-year-old boy who is pure imagination & joy.
I have a fridge magnet that says "The first forty years of parenthood are the hardest". A wry chuckle is the usual reaction from my contemporaries. My son turned 40 last year and his sisters said "Thank goodness for that, Mum - you can stop worrying about him now!" Ha - never! :)
Fortunately none of my offspring require serious worrying about (and for that I am extremely grateful) but how well I remember when each of them moved out.....and came back and moved out again, two or three times each, including with partners and children in recent years when between houses locally or shifting away, or coming back..... you get the picture. But that first time you wave them goodbye to their exciting new lives is such a wrench and you think, where did those years go? Now my eldest grandchild is turning 10 this year and I'm thinking the same thing!
Thank you for your beautiful words, Tsh - and all the best for this next phase in your lives xx