Itās been a year since I stopped using Instagram with any regularity1, and almost a year since I told the general public about it and made it official. Iāve been asked with frequent regularity how itās been sans Instagram, along with a few practical questions regarding the how-to of leaving the āgram, so I thought it time for a wee update.
Q: Do you miss Instagram?
A: Not a whit. I forget it exists. Really and truly, I donāt even think about it until someone brings it up. It probably helps that more and more IRL friends have deleted the app as well this past year.
Q: Has your ātrafficā decreased?
A: Itās hard to quantify things like ātrafficā online, so for this type of question, Iām thinking mostly about the things I care aboutānamely, cultivating a readership here at The Commonplace, podcast listeners, pilgrimage participants, and book buyers. I donāt care one iota about any social media numbers.
With the things I care about, my audience has increased, not decreased. I have more paying subscribers of The Commonplace (thank you, by the way!), more podcast episode downloads, this summerās Ireland trip has sold out, my book sales are doing just dandy, and I was able to sign another book contract without any promise of being on the āgram. In short: Instagram had played zero role in my vocational work as a writer, at least in the way I cared about it, and certainly plays zero role now.
Q: Has your quality of life gotten better?
A: Itās hard to overstate how much better my mental health, time management, work ethic, and overall screen use have gotten since leaving Instagram. Every aspect of my life has been better, and while sure, these things may not be 100% only because of leaving it, that deliberate action led to and is comprised of other life choices Iāve made that are easier to implement because of not being on the app. A few examples:
ā¢Ā I text more frequently with faraway friends, which means weāre connecting one-on-one and getting real updates from each other instead of general IG-audience updates. (I want to get better at actually calling, but baby steps.)
ā¢Ā I get together more frequently with friends in person. If I want to know how someone is doing, I have to reach out to them. Iād say that, on average, this past year Iāve had coffee with a friend about once a week. Kyle and I have gotten together without fail every month for our Frinners (Fourth Friday Friend Dinners with two other couples weāre good friends with). Neighbor friends and I started an everyoneās-welcome neighborhood picnic on the first Friday of every month, when we all bring our family dinners from home and eat them together on the courthouse lawn in the middle of our town square. I participate in a neighborhood book club. Weāve attended our neighborhood parish every Sunday except for one sick weekend.
ā¢Ā Iām more present for moments without thinking about what photo I should take thatās āgrammable. In fact, I forgot that was a thing until recently, when I suddenly remembered what it was like to constantly think about that when doing stuff offline (āHow should I post about this?ā). I travel, I read books, I garden, I go out and do thingsāI live my life, basicallyāand I donāt think at all about how I can turn it into content. This is HUGE for my mental health and sanity.
Because, you know, this is how weāre supposed to live.
I could name more, but these are the top benefits that come to mind.
Q: Have you lost touch with people?
A: Yes. And it stinks. I donāt want this. But ā¦and I hate to say it, butā¦ the trade-off is worth it. This has made me realize which relationships were mostly relationships of convenience in a digital sense, which is a bummer because I truly like many of these people. But the faraway ones I still keep in touch with, we do so over text, and we show up in this way because we consider each other true, actual friends, and not friends/acquaintances/work colleagues who are able to connect with each other simply by nature of being on the same platform. If thatās required to remain āfriends,ā perhaps our relationship isnāt as much of a friendship as I thought it was. Itās been a hard thing to reckon with.
This past year, Iāve had the experience of texting with friends who have ghosted me. Even though I did my darndest at first to keep up with them using other methods (text, Voxer, calling), they never reciprocated to reach out to see how I was doing. I get itāthis takes effort and a simple remembering to do so.
The first few months after leaving Instagram and me reaching out to catch up, some of these people would literally say things like, āHello! Iāve wondered how youāre doing since youāre not online anymore.ā As though Instagram = being online. Iād reply by reminding them how Iām still very much onlineāI have this Substack newsletter I love doing, I still pop onto Twitter a few times a week to see whatās up, I publish a twice-monthly podcast, etc. etc. But for these folks, the internet apparently IS Instagram, and to not be on it is to not be online at all.
This genuinely saddened me at first, and Kyle heard an earful about it the first few months after I left, as well as a few close in-person friends. This ghosting never caused me to doubt my decision, but it legit disheartened me that these co-creatorsāthese people Iāve thought of as friendsāare this dependent (and dare I say, addicted? or blindly convinced itās essential?) to Instagram. It still saddens me now, but no longer because I take their statements and actions personallyāit saddens me for them. Theyāre missing out on so much of life, and even other lovely parts of the internet, that are truly beautiful.
Q: Do you still think Twitter is better than Instagram?
A: I do. In factāand I know this is somewhat controversial to sayābut I actually think it became better once Elon Musk bought it. Not perfect, by a long shot, and itās still a social media platform with the proclivity and model to cause addiction and other vices, but Iāve figured out how to use it so it works for me. ā¦For now.
I only read Twitter via my lists, all of which Iāve set to privateāI havenāt looked at my main, default feed in ages. I also mostly look at it on my laptop, not my phone (I actually plan to only read it via my laptop by blocking it from my phoneās web browser this weekāand well, switching to Wisephone, which is in the works).
I also donāt think of Twitter as a readership-building tool, I think of it as a work-cultivating tool. The people Iāve connected with there best are those whom Iāve found writing gigs, business partnerships, and like-minded writers willing to share each othersā work on our main platforms (such as our Substack newsletters). Framing Twitter as a work tool and not a platform-growing tool helps me use it strategically.
One more final thing about Twitter vs. IG: I believe one of social mediaās many pitfalls is its ability to poke at our vices, and while we all struggle with them, we all specifically struggle with some particular vices more than others. I personally struggle with envy, and Instagram uniquely targets that vice. Twitter targets anger, and I donāt struggle with that vice as much. Peopleās mileages vary with various social media platforms, I believe in part because of each of our own unique foibles.2
Q: How do I get off Instagram? aka, How do I download my photos, phrase why Iām leaving so that I donāt sound judgey, etc.?
Hereās what some of you have been wanting me to get atāyouāre already convinced Instagram isnāt worth it, so you just want help leaving it well. I get it. Hereās what I did:
1. Download all your photos if youād like to keep them. Meta doesnāt like you leaving their platform, and they know downloading data is a common step to leaving, so they donāt make it easy. Hereās the latest how-to on downloading your data, and depending on how many posts you have, it may take a few days. This will download all your postsā data, from what I understand, so itās not just simple photo files. Meta will email this to you in a zip file, so make sure your email is updated with your account, and check it frequently, because the file might go to spam. Also, the link expires after a while, so donāt just assume you can leave it in your inbox.
2. If you feel the need to explain why youāre leaving (because you donāt have to; you can just quietly leave), write a final post sharing what you want. Do it however you like, but remember: you donāt owe anybody an explanation. You can just leave because you want to. If youād like to share some of your convictions in hopes of convincing others, however, Iāve found in general itās best to frame your thoughts as part of your personal experience, and not preach to others why they should do the same. Believe me, Iād love all my friends to leave the app, too, but I donāt have control over them. Modeling in my own life is the best way to convince someone of anything true, good, and beautiful, Iāve found. None of us like feeling judged or coddled.
3. Download your file from Meta and put it somewhere in your cloud storage. From there, do with it what you willātake the files and print them in a photo book, upload them to Flickr, create a photo blog or Micro.blog, whatever. Iāve just left mine zipped in storage for now.
4. Delete all your posts. Hereās the latest on how to do that en masse.
5. Update your bio to ensure it includes any links you want, especially how to best find you online from now on.
6. If you want, upload your last photo + post that explains why youāre leaving.
From here, you have two choices: Option 1 is to keep that last post up for a few weeks, then delete it and delete your account entirely (hereās the latest on how to do that). A wise choice.
Option 2ā¦ If youāre a person wanting to grow your online readership, listenership, or viewership, and you have a current Instagram following youāre reticent to leaveābut you still want to leave the app because youāre convinced the goods outweigh the badsāI recommend still deleting all your content but not deleting your account all the way just yet. (My account still exists for nowābut I plan to delete it fairly soon.3)
Use your profile bio to tell people how they can find you and leave links to what matters to you, including perhaps a link to where youāve explained (your post, episode, video, etc.) why youāve left Instagram. This way, for the time being, people can still tag you on their own photos when they bring up your work (in my case, when people post about one of my books), and new potential readers can click over and read said bio.
As an example, I found that a number of new readers who learned of me by reading At Home in the World would look up photos of our round-the-world trip as they read (which makes sense!). I took those Instagrams and uploaded them to Flickr, then added a link in my bio to that photo album, where readers could still browse those photos as they read. I was happy to provide that as an alternative.
Q: Any final words of wisdom?
A: Okay, none of you asked that, but I need to end this long essay somehow. So yes, here are some final thoughts.
The benefits have ENORMOUSLY outweighed the liabilities of not being on Instagram. Itās not even close. The app is no longer part of my life, and I truly donāt think about it anymore. I miss people there, yes, but itās a price Iām willing to pay for sanity, better mental health, better time management, better work ethic, better alignment with my core values, better everything. I donāt regret leaving for one minute, and if the platform bothers you as much as it once did me, I highly recommend leaving and not looking back.
If youāre not convinced you wonāt regret it, thereās no shame in doing a partial departure. Leave for the summer, and mark on the calendar a date when you give yourself total freedom to hop back on. Or delete the phone app, and check it only via your computer to see if you still like keeping up with accounts without it being a default time waster on your phone. There are partial solutions to this situationāit doesnāt have to be all or nothing.
I plan to make this post public soon for free Commonplace readers, but for now, Iām keeping comments available only to you guys, my subscribers. Have any more questions about this topic? Iām happy to answer them as I can. (Iāve got work meetings later this week, so if it takes me a bit longer than I prefer to get back to you, I appreciate your grace).
All in all, itās a good thing to remember what really matters, where real life truly resides, and why weāre divine creatures made to dwell on and participate in the cultivation of truth, goodness, and beauty. For me, leaving Instagram has made all of this more of a reality and less of simply a well-intentioned good idea.
Ora et Labora,
Tsh
I stopped using it with any regularity for most of the ā21-22 school year, then stopped altogether in June 2022. I then had a brief return to use it while leading the Italy trip, only because the organization I partnered with signed me on while I was still on IG, and I didnāt feel like it was entirely fair to not post during the trip when they may have expected me to. They never asked, but I still wanted to honor that potential assumption.
Though they all target pride, the queen of all vices, which is why being on any social media platform is a roll of the dice, a gamble Iām willing to walk away from at any moment.
If youāre curious, once I have a published book out in the world that shows tangible proof to future publishers I donāt need to be active on Instagram to sell a book, Iām going to permanently delete my account.
I left social media in early ā21 (which was meant to be permanent) but the worry about platform pulled me back. I left again for good early this year and I donāt miss it one single bit. My mental health was getting so bad. I have OCD, so Instagram triggered all of my compulsive checking behaviors. Now Iām focused on writing my new book, creating on Substack, and enjoying the renewed quiet in my mind. Itās delightful ā¤ļø. Also, THANK YOU for the info about how to download your data and mass delete posts! Such a big help!
May I ask why you would go to the trouble to delete past posts?
Feeling convicted to make a change soon, so I was curious!