Hello! I hope youâve had a good July. I cannot believe itâs August, but I feel like I say that every year after my month-long screen break, so it is what it is: entirely predictable that time, indeed, flies. Who knew1.
It was a fantastic break, but I admittedly felt a little scattershot throughout July and didnât get as much reflective time as Iâd hoped. I did, however, enjoy more time with people than was expected, which was a benefit I didnât know I needed. More than my usual months away from the screen, I had quite a few coffee dates with friends, hung out a lot with my rapidly-growing kids2, and decluttered more than a few hotspots in the house (with plenty more to go, I assure you). And of course, the highlight of the month was our group pilgrimage to Ireland. IRELAND! Iâll write more about the experience later this week, so Iâll save my thoughts for then.
But as always, I return from my break with the astute awareness of how much better I can focus, how much longer something can hold my attention, and how much more sensitive I am to screen time (one family movie night, and my eyes are done!). Iâm also much more aware of how much everyone everywhere is just staring at their phones all. the. ding-dang. TIME. At restaurants, in grocery lines, at stoplights, in waiting rooms, on walks with dogs, on public transport, and of course, letâs not forget while watching some other screen on a laptop or TV.
We truly are an addicted culture, and one of its tell-tale signs is that we all agree that weâre an addicted culture but are loathe to reckon with the idea that it probably means we, too, are personally addicted. Whenever the conversation comes up to my having left Instagram, or my being on a current screen break, or me going no (or low) phone on Sundays, or whatever, nine times out of ten a person will applaud me, then say yeah, theyâd probably benefit from something like that but that either they canât because of work, or that their phone use isnât that bad. They only use social media to keep up with friends, theyâll usually say.
Yâall. If you have a phone in your possession, youâre most likely addicted. Itâs just the truth.
And itâs likely not your fault â addiction is a feature, not a bug of these hand-held computers; theyâre just operating as theyâre meant to, and youâre responding as youâre meant to. Weâre drawn to the dopamine hits, the desire for connection, the need to feel productive, the survival instinct to be in the know. The desire for those things isnât bad. The problem is that our phones provide a façade salve to all that; a temporary itch-scratching at best. The dopamine hits follow with candy-like crashes that make us feel worse than before, the connection isnât actually real (no matter how adamant we are that virtual connection is the same as in-person), weâre actually becoming less productive because of our deteriorating attention, and our phones cause us to know far too much of what doesnât matter to our IRL lives (i.e., global issues) and far too little of what does (i.e. how our neighborâs doing).
(Iâve pre-ordered a Wisephone 2 and Iâll let you know how it goes3. Happy to be a guinea pig for living with a dumbed-down phone that still has the genuinely-useful, non-addictive features.)
Ultimately: we should all take regular screen breaks! If you havenât scheduled one yet, treat yourself to one. Your mind, body, and soul will be so grateful. Iâm a fan of Andy Crouchâs recommendation: turn off your phone (as in, not just silencedâfully powered down) one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year.
A Bit of Gallimaufry & SundryâŚ
1. Greece đŹđˇ
Greece is filling up â sign up if you already know it should be part of your summer 2024! Iâll reiterate later this week why traveling with strangers who turn into kindred spirits is one of the best, most surprising things you could do. And to do it on a pilgrimage to an epic location like Greece! There are fewer better experiences on earth this side of heaven.
I do my best to keep pilgrimages with me as affordable as possible, and at the risk of sounding sales-y, youâll be hard-pressed to have the experience we enjoy together at a lower rate. Truly⌠Sign up. Iâd love, love, love to travel with you.
2. Fall Commonplace Periodical đ
Interested in writing a piece to share with The Commonplace audience? Iâd love to consider it! The next fall periodical will release on October 1, and itâs not too early to submit something for publication. My goal is to make this quarterly periodical a community labor of love. Consider the ethos of what it is we talk about here, then get your pen moving.
3. First Light & Eventide: My New Journal đ
First Light & Eventide officially releases at the end of this month, on August 29! Pre-order yours now if youâd like to have it ready for a new school year â we all know how crazy-busy the end of August is, so treat yourself to a surprise in the mailbox4 and youâll be ready to go in starting a new habit of examen this fall.
4. Lex Orandi: A New Column đż
This fall Iâm starting a new column here at The Commonplace called Lex Orandi. More than any other topic, sitting (unanswered, mostly) in my inbox, asked over a meal on a pilgrimage, or tiptoed in as a topic of curiosity while having coffee with an old friend, is this: Why did you become Catholic? And sometimes a sister-form of that question: How do you reconcile with [insert Catholic doctrine or tradition of choice]? Itâs what a heckuva lot of you want to know, it seems, and I get itâI would, too. So, Iâve decided to start exploring this topic in a very story-driven (as opposed to apologetic), description-not-prescription method of simply telling you my experience and what Iâve come to learn.
I get that this subject matter isnât for everyone, so Iâm making these essays purely opt-inâas in, you wonât get them unless you specifically ask for them. If youâd like to read the column (free for everyone!), simply adjust your settings in your account. Comments will be open only for Commonplace subscribers (so, you if youâre reading this), and Iâm happy to receive them so long as theyâre asked in a charitable spirit. I have no doubt you guys wouldnât do anything less.
Head to your account settings (click on your profile picture, then choose âsettingsâ from the menu) and customize away:
The first installment will be later this month, so adjust your settings now and youâll get the essay in your inbox!
New Referral Gifts đ
FinallyâSubstack has created a reward system to treat readers who refer potential new readers to this newsletter. I love this! No need for all the rigamarole of making this complicated, so hereâs whatâs on tap for you, as a thank-you should your mention of The Commonplace lead to any signups (free or paid):
Refer 3 new signups: One month of a comped paid subscription to TCP.
Refer 10 new signups: A free copy of my private document 100 Great Things, wherein I share 100 things I love in various categories: quotes, podcasts, life hacks, poems, and the like.
Refer 25 new signups: A free copy of my private six-page essay A Slower Life: 10 Habits to Cultivate, wherein I share ten habits I currently employ in my real life to help me live slower (now fifteen-plus years on this slowing down journey, with earned wisdom from a variety of living conditions and child-raising stages).
Thank you in advance for sharing The Commonplace! It really means so much.
Alrighty, thatâs it for now⌠Be on the lookout later this week for an essay where I reflect on our time in Ireland, share photos from our collective experience, and duly whet your appetite for going on a pilgrimage with me. Consider yourself warned. đ
Grateful youâre here! And I look forward to being back to regular publishing here at TCP after my month away.
Ora et Labora,
Tsh
We all know.
As a 5â2 1/2â woman, I can get over the fact that Iâm now the shortest one in my family â but how am I the mother of all teenagers now? It still doesnât seem possible.
The release date isnât until âwinter 2023,â unfortunately. Iâm impatient.
Anyone else forget about their pre-orders, or is it just me? Itâs like ordering a present for my future self.
You know how sometimes, in the internet world, one asks, "Does anyone *really* notice if I'm gone for a bit?" Throughout the month, I found myself asking what the date was just to see how much longer you'd be quiet. I fully support the month away but, gosh, I'm excited to have you back and to leave your work with lovely ideas! Very excited about the convert series!
Welcome back. đ