Dear Mom, Vol. 2 🍨

on the perfect gelato flavor combo... and relationships

As a reminder to the readers:

• Dear Tate, Vol. 1

• Dear Mom, Vol. 1

• Dear Tate, Vol. 2

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Tsh’s note: A painting of a corner in Assisi gracing our home’s front entry, as mentioned in my book At Home in the World.

Dear Mom,

Holy cow — SO MUCH has happened since I wrote last month. I visited Rome and Assisi, met new people, averaged 22,000 steps in one week, and I’m no longer a teenager… It’s astonishing to look back at my previous letter and see how I’ve progressed dramatically in those three goals I set for myself.

In getting out of my head and into my life, and therefore forcing myself to walk through the doors God opened (including the literal holy doors of several cathedrals), I’ve already changed so much and made such good friends. And in the theme of your letter to me, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed sucking the marrow out of life by making memories, gathering stories, and taking the photos I’ll share with my kids someday.

I think I have a new favorite birthday memory that might just top my tenth in Kenya… odd how it seems to be every ten years. After a chill day having only one class — one of my favorites (Visual Arts & the Catholic Imagination), fourteen of my friends (close enough to a hundred, in my opinion) threw me a semi-surprise dinner party in the mensa. My desserts were four Austrian donuts called “krapfen,” and they were delicious, even split into quarters to allow everyone to have a bite. It was beautiful to sit at the end of the table wearing a makeshift birthday crown, beaming as I absorbed the love of others as they sang ‘happy birthday’ as loud and out of tune as they could, then went around and shared things they loved about me. What a wonderful and warm welcome into a new stage of life as an “official” adult.

I’ve also been loving the simple pleasure of being out in nature and going on hikes. Albeit, busting my knee in the parking lot on the way to one of those hikes was definitely a brick in my foundation I could’ve done without. But being up in the trees on the misty hills of Gaming perpetually reminds me of God’s beauty and how he’s physically designed us to be creatures of the earth, meant to climb every mountain and ford every stream, and to need movement and fresh air. Plus, it’s a great way to let off steam, and get some sunshine and exercise after a tense week or a restless class.

And as you know, I visited Rome and Assisi ten years older and wiser than last time, and to say the least, seeing everything, especially the Basilica, as well as countless other beautiful cathedrals and churches through a Catholic perspective, is mind-blowing. I don’t think if I went to the Papal audience, had Mass in St. Peter’s Basilica, or saw the bits and pieces of saints as a ten-year-old, would I have appreciated it as much as I do now.

A little corner of late-night Assisi

Assisi was a wonderful shift from the hustle and bustle of Rome and was full of so many good conversations and mediocre wine tasting. It's interesting to think of all the connections our family has to that little town… Previously the most I remembered of it was the place where Finn lost his red Disneyland jacket on the bus and the setting of the painting with the sunny street corner by our front door back at home (which I then found on a late-night walk). And now — what memories were made there this time.

Italy has this wonderful habit of making everything into art. From its literal art, architecture, and literature, to its landscape, food, and people… It’s all beautiful.

I’ve been learning so much about friendships and relationships, and at the risk of sounding stupidly obvious: good friends really are so important, especially women friends who motivate you, don’t judge you, and know how to have good fun. So far, I’ve made two close friendships with women like these, and I’m so grateful for them and our wine nights, chatting about boys and vocations. Even the travel mishaps we’ve endured will stick with us forever and become inside jokes (I still slightly resent that particular bus driver). My friendships with men have also been delightful, what with their silly shenanigans and bewildering appetites — they bring a certain carefree energy to those who need to let loose a little.

And I don’t think this is news to anyone, but God works in such mysterious ways and on His own time. And what a sense of humor He has! As you said, one moment you’re in the glorious Sistene Chapel trying to sneak a photo without the guards shouting at you, and the next day you’re getting JPII’s favorite gelato (more on this in a bit) and standing in front of the Colosseum, not knowing how much your life has just changed. It’s all a good reminder that God ultimately has a way better plan than our puny human brains can imagine.

I think it’s particularly beautiful that He uses relationships to draw us closer to Him. Going back as far as our creation, we see that we are not made to be solitary creatures, and through rightly ordered, true relationships, we honor Him and are drawn closer to Him. We also honor Him by trusting that He has a plan and that we will never be forgotten… This is something I’m working on daily, and am grateful for the opportunity to stretch my faith.

Gelato from John Paul II’s favorite shop

On a lighter note, I did indeed indulge in gelato from St. John Paul II’s favorite shop, and I’m convinced that from it I’ve found the perfect combination of flavors¹. Gelato is another one of Italy’s greatest art forms that differs from ice cream (how dare you assume they’re the same). Ice cream is made from cream (shocker) whereas gelato, in its superiority, is made from milk and is mixed with more air, hence why true gelato has an almost gooey consistency and melts faster. To tell if it’s high-quality and house-made, one must investigate the colors of the cold goodness: if there are any bright Superman-like colors, you’re in the wrong spot because if they bring in one factory-made flavor, odds are, the rest of the flavors will be, too.

Now, to my point, I’ve found that while countless wonderful flavors are also top-tier, there is this one simple combination that trumps them all. The first flavor is some sort of berry, be it straw, rasp, or mixed; it simply must be berry. This brings the lighter, naturally sweet, and perfectly tart notes to your palette. The second, which many don’t appreciate, is pistachio. The high-protein and peculiarly green legume makes a surprisingly delicious flavor that adds an earthy, caramel-like saltiness to our combo. The third needs the least amount of explaining, yet plays a key role: dark chocolate. The richness united with the berry and pistachio creates a beautiful cacophony on the tongue worthy of Remy the Rat.

Clearly, I’ve learned an extensive amount about gelato, only a mere snippet about relationships, and sure, things here and there in classes about metaphysics, theology, Epics, and architecture. I’m curious: what have you been learning lately, Mom? In your work, your parenting, your teaching, your nerding, etc., what’s new and interesting to you? I want to hear about it.

Yours from afar,

Tate

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¹ I know at least one person disagrees with me greatly, but they are wrong. They know who they are.